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The Age Of Politics

The Age Of Politics

August 24, 2012

A politically (in)correct analysis of our Netas, who refuse to give up power, and take up any kind of responsibility.

The leaders running modern India, are about twenty years older than the nation itself. I couldn't help but wonder, why don’t our politicians retire, ever? I gave a little thought to it and everything became crystal clear! For the benefit of fellow readers, I am going to share my theory in this post, at the risk of being politically incorrect, but who cares.

Let me ask you a question. When you hear the word 'Neta', what image do you form subconsciously? As far as I am concerned, I picture a kurta-payjama clad eighty year old man, with white hair (No, not a fifty shades of gray but a single shade of white), eyes beaming with corruption and drooling over the taxes you just paid to the government of India. The image of a Neta, most of us have in mind, is more or less similar to the one I described. So, obviously, why retire, if the junta pictures you, exactly the way you are and is most definitely fine with that.

A point to ponder is, who at all would make such a law which forces politicians to retire? The politicians, who are having a peaceful nap or watching porn on their hi-tech mobile phones during the Parliament proceedings, will certainly not. They are not dumb enough to say no to Lakshmi, if she wants to come their way. They have a constant source of limited white money, unlimited black money and of course, the power, without much of responsibility. Now, that would be a dream even for Spiderman, but our carefully chosen politicians enjoy such a rare gem of nature laden on their platter by us. They might all be a bunch of fools, but they are certainly not foolish enough to say goodbye to power, and the money which comes along with that.

At times, our politicians don't really have a choice. How could they pass the reins of power to people who are not in their family tree. Democracy is alright, but in real life, power has to be concentrated in the family itself. And it becomes a real problem if the politico doesn't have an offspring from a legal marriage, or worse so, if the kid is like Rahul Gandhi. The forty year old kids of our leaders are not necessarily the ones who can handle a bigger circus, which India is. So, all for the lack of someone who could be as shrewd and clever as them, and fool the public as easily as they were doing since Independence, they have to slog even today.

The corruption quotient in an Indian politician increases exponentially with age. If we keep that theory in mind, there are chances of better earnings in the penultimate years of one’s life. Who the hell wants to give up such a golden opportunity? So much, for the generations to come, who wouldn't have to earn a penny, as their survival would be taken care of. And how could they ever miss future scams, if at all they retire. The nation needs their experience, for God's sake.

An average Indian Politician never gets tired of work (foreign holidays, sleeping in Parliament, watching porn, playing guest at TV Channels, watching free previews of movies before they are released and so many more tedious tasks). If work means all that, plus all the perks I mentioned earlier, which sane person would want to retire? After all, why should youngsters have all the fun? There is a mad mad (rave?) party out there, for everyone who wants to join!

P.S. This post could be removed anytime soon, if I get a threatening call from Mr Sibal, or better yet, if he offers me money to do so!

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  • Akanksha Dureja
    Akanksha Dureja
    28.08.12 11:33 PM
    Well, Wait a few decades, and you'll meet the eligibility criterion :D Till then, I guess you're moving in the right direction with new hopes ;-)

    Thanks for the warm welcome :-)
  • Akanksha Dureja
    Akanksha Dureja
    28.08.12 11:30 PM
    That is a compliment, in itself! :) Thanks a lot, for reading.
  • Bhadra
    25.08.12 08:51 AM
    Rwminds me of the book battle in bittora: when the protagonist complains that all the politicians are so old that she's afraid they might drop dead while she's talking to them.
    24.08.12 10:02 PM
    I was considering a career in politics but then decided to pin my hopes on becoming next Christian Gray (Indian version). hmmmmmm, Just wondering who should I choose to play Anna. :)

    Damn, I need to go and buy some bad stuff now.

    So what do you think I should do ?
    I'm definitely too young too be a Neta.


    PS Wellcome to NRI
  • Akanksha Dureja
    Akanksha Dureja
    24.08.12 06:53 PM

    Thanks a lot :) Who knows , it could get worse, so be satisfied with the fools we have chosen ;-)

    Trust me, you couldn't have handled so much fun, at this age :P

    Thanks a lot. So glad you liked it. Rahul Gandhi, at 40 is sure a youth icon. I would need another post to prove it ;-) haha
  • Jyoti
    24.08.12 06:47 PM
    Great read! And now I think you will better understand why 40 something Rahul Gandhi is still considered as a Youth (if at all) icon :D
  • Rickie Khosla
    Rickie Khosla
    24.08.12 12:17 PM
    Sometimes I really wonder how great I could have been as a politician!
  • Vikrant
    24.08.12 12:07 PM
    Congrats on your first article in this e-mag :-)

    nice read !

    hamara neta kaisa bhi ho bas inke jaisa na ho ;)

    way to go !


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