NRI

Google fb32x32 twitter linkedin feed-icon-32x32

I Can See Why You’re “Sowwiee”

I Can See Why You’re “Sowwiee”

January 27, 2012

Why do keyboards make us forget all the rules of grammar, punctuation and spelling?

Once upon a time, I used to love local trains. I’d get all sorts of philosophical thoughts while travelling and I had even come up with a theory about how the world was formed. Then one night, someone defiled all the beautiful trains with stickers that said this: “Good new’s ! Make a new colour PAN card!” Apart from the unnecessary apostrophe, which caused all my local-train love to evaporate, this sign made me wonder about the new colour the PAN-card manufacturers had discovered.


This isn’t an isolated incident. My Economics book tells me that a perfectly competitive market is one in which “the number of sellers are large”. Also, am I the only one who noticed the spelling mistake in the Kolaveri subtitles (I want you hear now-u…) 

But these are all excusable. What with all these education surveys telling us we’re dumb, we can’t realistically hope to find proper spelling, grammar and punctuation on trains and in textbooks. You know how the CBSE website uploads answer papers of the highest scorers for all to scrutinize and ape? Two years ago, I was reading these and I found a very, very stupid grammatical mistake (fortunately, I cannot remember what it was, now) in the supposedly-best English paper, and a nonchalant tick mark right next to it. I cried myself to sleep that night. That’s the kind of disillusionment that stays with you all your life.

Is there any excuse for such carelessness on Facebook? Why must people who have been to good schools and have read at least a few well-punctuated books (even if it’s just Twilight) say, “I luvhh mah bestiezz foreva Im sowwiee if I eva hurt yah”? The shortened spellings I can overlook, if with a little difficulty. But the extra letters make me want to research compulsive keyboard harassment. Perhaps part of the blame lies with Bigg Boss, the Facebook group called LOlzzzz and Snoop Dogg (or Chetan Bhagat, because you can generally blame all these things on Chetan Bhagat). Someone told me the second ‘g’ in Snoop Dogg stands for gangsta. I would like to tell them that that is the lamest excuse I have ever heard for the above-mentioned disorder.

Thankfully and inexplicably, there has been a sharp decline in the number of people tokin lyk dis, making everybody’s lives easier. Offenders still remain though, and believe me when I say that I did not make the following status update up. I couldn’t have. ‘y it olwiz hpns wheneva i cmt mstk nd fl lik cryin 4 hrtin uh,uh juz cm in meh mind nd say plz dn't cry.y r u so nyc 2 meh?. I’m sure whoever it was, stopped being nice to this updater immediately after reading this.

There are people who tell me to shut up and stop being rude; but some degree of correct spelling, grammar and punctuation is required if you want to appear considerate to your readers. True, the message usually gets across without all those fancy little marks, but it makes the reader work extra hard to decipher your love for your best friends. By all means write “luvhhh mah bestiezzz” in your private diary; don’t do it on Facebook.

4 Comments

  • Jaai
    By
    Jaai
    28.01.12 11:06 AM
    @Rajpriya: Thank you. And I'm trying not to think about that particular...joke. :P

    @Writerzblock: Thank you! I know, I irritate people a lot when I can't understand some of their texts (or pretend not to) ;)

    @Harry: Yes, I am an Arts student. It's not bad spelling etc. in itself that causes me to cry, it's apathy. I AM NOT A FAN OF TWILIGHT! May the world get this in its head. I said "even if it's just Twilight" which is as condescending as it gets.
  • HARRY
    By
    HARRY
    27.01.12 08:59 PM
    I lyk dis a lottttt.

    Hi JAAI, Are you an art student? Only an art student would cry them self to sleep in event of spelling mistake or bad grammer.

    Dear GOD, you, another fan of Twilight, I have bloody two of them in my family. You know what, Edward is a pedo in my book, who would stalk a teen(17) being 100+ him self. What's that all about, If I did that, I will get locked up, and become somebody elses bitch. :) The other thing I will tell you is, Bella gets stake through her chest in the end (I only wish). And thank goodness for that. May I recommend another movie, watch Vampires Suck. :) If you say Twilight is good book, I'm eating my shoes. :)

    happy dreams JAAI. Oh dear oh dear, I should have made the happy with capital H. Keep smiling.

    HARRY
  • Writerzblock
    By
    Writerzblock
    27.01.12 03:01 PM
    LOL! Hope that's permitted ;-)

    Completely agree with you Jaai. I really can't understand the new lingo.. like when people type 'Lyk dat'. I mean, how difficult can it be to just say 'Like That'? Its just one letter more in each word!!
  • Rajpriya
    By
    Rajpriya
    27.01.12 01:00 PM
    @Jaai was great reading you reel gangsta.

    here's what I read elsewhere and tweaked a little.

    Meh havin a rough day 2.
    Me got up in da mornin; put on a shirt N a button cum off.
    Me pick up me briefcase N da handle cum off.
    Now me 2 afraid 2 go 2 the loo.

Leave a comment