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I Am Kaali

I Am Kaali

August 09, 2012
Khadija Ejaz

Being eve teased in Toronto did not devastate me into silence. Instead it energised me in the most primal way.

The lake was calm but the storm was within. I sat by the water with my best friend that cool summer evening. The sun was out; it only set by ten 'o clock at that time of the year in Toronto. The Sunday breeze had brought out a picture-book neighbourhood of families, children, bikers, dogwalkers, and joggers. My friend busied herself with her new camera, taking pictures of the crispy sky and my toes. A tempest was gathering within my chest. 

About half an hour earlier, my friend and I had walked out to lake Ontario, a short walk from where I was staying with relatives. We climbed onto the narrow rocks that bordered the perimeter of the lake along a busy walking trail. A group of boys, in their late teens and early twenties, hollered at us from a boat from the left side of the cliff we were on, but we couldn't understand what they were saying. We knew they were calling out to us by calling my friend 'the purple one' and me, 'the blue one', because of the colour of our shirts and jeans.

Then we noticed another group of boys on the right end of the cliff, a few feet away from us. They were standing under the sunshade overlooking the lake, and they began to holler back at the boys in the water. My friend and I tried to mind our own business even as the boys near the cliff started talking about us loudly, referring to us by the colour of our clothes. We tried to ignore them as two of the young men flung bottles of water over our heads at their friends in the boat. It looked like friendly fire to me.

My muscles tightened as one of the boys, an Indian fellow in a blue shirt that read 'India '07', slithered behind my friend and I on the narrow rock and whispered, "hello aunties, goodbye aunties" as he passed us by. I glared at him through my sunglasses.

"What!" I said. He turned and gave me a dirty grin. He passed us by three more times on that cliff, keeping a distance of a few inches from us each time, circling us like prey. There wasn't much room on that rock my friend and I felt imprisoned on. I looked at the water below and remembered that my friend couldn't swim.

One of the boys, a black guy, yelled at us to ignore his Indian friend, but we couldn't. My friend mumbled a "goodbye, fool" the last time he slid behind us, saying, "hello aunties, goodbye aunties". The group of boys under the sunshade laughed and hooted at us the whole time.

My friend and I felt afraid and decided to leave. We walked down the rocks away from the boys as they howled at us like apes in heat. My cheeks burned with shame and outrage as they called out to us, singing, "aunty, don't break my heart!". Men and women of all colours witnessed the bullying but did nothing. My friend wanted to curse back at the boys but was conscious of the little children playing around us. She showed them the finger but the gesture got drowned in the sound of catcalls. The world turned a blind eye to two young women being bullied by a group of even younger men triumphantly high-fiving each other and celebrating their budding manhoods. As we walked away, trying to hold on to our dignities with our heads buried into our shoulders, the world silently witnessed our humilation. Every victorius laugh and hoot shot me in the back like arrows dipped in Scylla's venomous blood.

I stopped a little way off to complain to two elderly Indian couples, but the men just tittered. One of the women asked my friend and I for more details, and then smiled at us in a silly way. "Teenage boys," she said, her head trembling slightly. "It's okay, you are probably finding it odd because you haven't seen it happen often." It happens, she meant to say, isn't life funny sometimes?

I couldn't believe her.

"Actually," I shot back, "where I come from, this happens a lot, but I didn't think it would happen here." I walked off with my friend in disgust, the silly woman still smiling a smile that lasted too long.

I sat by the water with my friend, my mind replaying memories of a life filled with older men harassing and molesting little girls in public and in private. Long-forgotten old shame that lay buried under layers of tears curdled once again inside my belly.

"It never ends, does it?" I asked my friend. "You grow up with older men making you feel dirty, and if you survive to make it to adulthood, a new batch of younger men takes their place. No matter what a woman achieves and lives through, she never gets respect? Does it never end? Is she never spared?" I couldn't believe it. I had little cousins as old as those boys who all treated me like a big sister.

"We weren't dressed slutty or were even sticking out," I continued. "There were plenty of females around in all kinds of clothing, but they picked us. Why? Is it because we're desi girls that they know won't retaliate because we're conditioned to be docile?"

"And that Indian lady didn't help either," my friend said. "Look at her, enabling the boys' behaviour."

"She actually said we weren't used to it!" I said. "I'm sorry, but why should I have to get used to this??"

Something thick was boiling inside me. We hadn't done anything wrong, but they had misbehaved with us and taken control of us...again. The faces had changed, but the story was still the same. They had controlled us again, and we had had to leave because they had made us feel dirty and scared and ashamed.

My friend and I decided to go home, but that meant walking past where the boys had been under the sunshade again. All of them, black and brown. I felt like blinders were growing by my head. A phantom gush of air hit my face as I felt like I was entering a tunnel.

We had just started walking past the sunshade when the boys, all twenty of them, noticed us and started hollering at us again. We were several meters away from them with a lot of families and single people all around us, but that didn't stop them. They began to call out again, "aunties, aunties, helloooo!" They laughed at us. My friend flipped them the bird, and they found it funny again.

I was in the tunnel and couldn't see anything around me anymore. I stopped and turned towards them laughing at my face and my body and my naked breasts under my clothes. "WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM???" I screamed. The laughter stopped. A few of the young men shouted back some quick apologies. "Sorry," a lot of them hurriedly said. A snigger made its way from the corner of the group, and someone called me "aunty" again. A nervous laugh circulated through the group as they remembered that there were twenty of them in a group, and then there was just me. My heart contracted in fear as I also suddenly realised that I was posed like a single hawk against a mob of scavenger vultures. One single woman headbutting against twenty young men in the prime of their lives. A small voice from somewhere in the corner of the group called me a cunt. They began to laugh at me again in front of the world that was still turning a blind eye.

What name have I not been called before, most by the very people who were supposed to have loved and protected me? Slut, whore, bitch, cunt, dyke - it was so easy to shut a female up. A male could do whatever he liked, right or wrong, but if a female ever confronted him, he'd demolish her femininity with one word. And the world would never question it. It was so easy. Did these boys think that calling me a name in front of the whole world would devastate me into silence?

It didn't this time. It energised me instead in the most primal way, like a mad she-wolf sinking her claws into the earth and baying at the moon. A rabid growl that has only come out of my throat once before barked out at the young men laughing at me. I don't remember what I said, but it blanched all of their faces, wiping away all of their smiles, physically jerking them into immobility.

One of the guys in the group roared at the Indian guy, "what the FUCK did I tell you??" The Indian guy lashed back out at him incoherently, "what the FUCK what the FUCK I'll FUCK her up I'll FUCK you up!" Etcetera etcetera. He was waiting for his friends to hold him back, but they had all lost their enthusiasm and stood there nervously, suddenly aware of the world watching them, a crazy woman clinging to them with her nails. I was bolted to the ground, facing them in an immobile posture, like a bloodhound that's detected the trace of prey. My body was hard. I noticed my friend standing beside me.

The infighting continued. Egos had been hurt and they noisily tried to defend their dignity by turning on each other. Whatever had possessed me was now gone, but the boys were still trying to be men. "SHUT UP!" I roared. I turned to my friend and we walked away. The sounds of boys trying to rescue their egos soon fell away into the past. Minutes later, we were screaming in delight as we rode the swings in the children's play area behind the house I was staying in.

Photo credit
: www.keywordpicture.com 

36 Comments

  • 10.08.13 09:45 AM
    " A male could do whatever he liked, right or wrong, but if a female ever confronted him, he'd demolish her femininity with one word."

    harsh truth...the cheapest shot.

    glad u did what had to be done...
  • Jaydatta
    By
    Jaydatta
    07.09.12 03:32 AM
    I am very happy to see that someone out there actually talks about the experience. It's very rare to see a victim to talk about her non safety. Your experience will be definitely one inspiration for many girls.
  • Nisar Ahmed
    By
    Nisar Ahmed
    29.08.12 01:13 PM
    good going. keep it up.
  • Divya S
    By
    Divya S
    14.08.12 03:40 PM
    Khadija,

    You are my lady hero for standing up to these idiots in this way. I don't think I would have had the courage!

    Harassment in any form is ugly, and its high time the perpetrators recognize that we can hit back.

    ~Div
  • Rajpriya
    By
    Rajpriya
    14.08.12 08:18 AM
    Some information on the most probable reason on how and why eve teasing and molestation did ever start and is ever increasing in India and among Indian youth living abroad. The reasons analyzed the most obvious for the present day dilemma. Bollywood?

    Even though the themes of Bollywood movies may seem to correct our societies’ evil they are in all probability doing just the opposite creating the parasites of the present day.

    Short essay on Obscenity and Violence in Films:
    http://www.preservearticles.com/2012011821121/short-essay-on-obscenity-and-violence-in-films.html

    If it is ever possible to correct the youth (men) of today and of the future to respect our women we could still preserve of our great nation of women portraying feminism rather becoming muscular to protect their modesty.

    I am not a supporter of eve teasing as made out by some comments here but I am supporter of preventing women getting into brawls with a bunch of psychopaths in public.
  • A Singh
    By
    A Singh
    13.08.12 05:57 PM
    @AussieDesi - Amen to that!
  • Rajpriya
    By
    Rajpriya
    13.08.12 05:11 PM
    Haven't I suggested that Karate is a better solution instead of any verbal attack that would sort instantly the problem?
  • AussieDesi
    By
    AussieDesi
    13.08.12 04:06 PM
    Khadija, as per your article, you were being bullied by a group of Indian teens/young men, and after trying a number of avoidance mechanisms, you stood up for yourself. You felt empowered at the end of the experience.

    Its instructive to see the comments which followed. As I read further and further, my head started to spin. Although these are only a microcosm of Indians - NRI or otherwise - it is so disappointing to see that the vast majority have taken issue with your actions, with the young men/boys getting a free pass.

    1. Many doubt the incident even happened because you "delayed" reporting it;

    2. You didn't go to the police, so therefore it probably wasnt' that serious;

    3. The words used were not in themselves offensive, so how could you be offended?

    4. There were no witnesses, or if there were, they probably wouldn't support your side of the story - so you must be wrong;

    5. Boys will be boys... and refuse to become men, who consider how their own mothers/sisters might feel in that situation or how their actions reflect on Indians as a whole...so you should have smiled along with them.

    6. Every and all reactions you had was "wrong", and you should have kept calm, taken photos, sought names, got addresses and witness statements, got your friend involved...rather than doing what you did.

    7. Just smiled and forgotten about it.

    What about an alternative scenario where the Indian-origin victim is subject to racially-motivated comments by white or other ethnic groups? Perhaps the racist taunting may cause a violent reaction, even though:

    1. The incident was hushed up by family members or not reported to police (eg many of the attacks on US Sikhs post-9/11) or only reported later;

    2. Although the police were feeling generous and accepted the complaint, little was done to track down the offenders, who had long since dispersed;

    3. The words themselves were not racist eg "hey, curry muncher" or "Hello? I am caaalling from a caaal centre" or simply "Are you related to Apu off the The Simpsons?"

    4. There were plenty of witnesses, but most of them laughed along with the "jokes"

    5. A group of young men made the comments, and continued to make the comments despite the Indian-origin person making attempts to ignore, invoke assistance or move away;

    6. Photographs taken on a mobile phone were deemed to be too far away, indistinguishable or too blurry to form evidence in a court of law;

    7. Please watch the movie "The Karate Kid" and find inspiration to beat your bullies, risking physical injury and further mental scarring.

    I hope the above commenters, if those circumstances occurred, would be full of similar advice and tell you to just "smile and forget about it".

    Enablement and tolerance of bullying and abuse - from wherever it may be directed - only weakens the NRI community. People may choose to react in different ways, but as a botttom line - Stand up for your sister as you would expect others to stand up for you!
  • Rajpriya
    By
    Rajpriya
    12.08.12 02:37 AM
    @Sonal Mehta,


    You read the story and tell me if a bunch of teenage pranksters call out "Hello Aunties Good Bye Aunties" and were singing, “aunty, don’t break my heart!” warranted hurling abuse? Funny that I did not know a woman’s breasts are naked under her clothes.

    Even the two elderly couples saw the whole thing as teenage pranks. Shouting rape when there was none has put in to prison any innocent men. I don’t see any case in this story of any physical abuse to cry foul and do you?

    http://www.realfreemarket.org/blog/2012/05/31/brian-banks-victim-of-a-false-rape-accusation/

    What do you think you like to have: your jaw broken by bullies or shout dirty words at them when they keep coming at you. I do it in self-defense buddy and keep laughing.

    “What name have I not been called before, most by the very people who were supposed to have loved and protected me? Slut, whore, bitch, cunt, dyke”

    To quote the author but she does not say those boys called her by those names.

    Was she taking her grudge out on these boys?

    She certainly has been acting as an angry child on impulse and something tells me a harmless prank has been blown up in this story. There is absolutely no case to be taken to courts.
  • Sonal Mehta
    By
    Sonal Mehta
    12.08.12 01:17 AM
    "Breaking a few jaws" is acceptable and yelling at them is excessive? umm, okay, Rajpriya.
  • Rajpriya
    By
    Rajpriya
    12.08.12 01:05 AM
    And saying “hello aunties, goodbye aunties” is no abuse at all lady and if you had said "good bye nephews" could have ended the whole thing on a friendly note.

    I can't believe you hurl abuse at those guys for calling you aunties.
  • Rajpriya
    By
    Rajpriya
    12.08.12 12:57 AM
    Do what ever you think is right to keep you out of trouble lady if they work. I was not an angry and impulsive child my self.

    I had to get strong enough to deal with bullies with out uttering a single verbal abuse. I had only to break a few jaws to stop them coming at me and I found myself always laughing doing that.

    I love when I can laugh dealing with my trouble
    We have different ways of dealing with trouble don't we?

    You seem to be born with all the necessary talents to defend your self and I sure believe you don't need inspiration from any one but yourself.

    Keep shouting those words as loud as you can but your story says there were no witnesses that could testify and you never thought of going to the police but just left the scene.

    That's one way of putting an end to any escalation of a difficult situation is quietly leave and report it years later. There are certain low levels respectable people should never stoop down to.
  • Khadija Ejaz
    By
    Khadija Ejaz
    12.08.12 12:00 AM
    *sigh* Yes, I know self-defense. I've taken classes. I do know how to assess a situation and avoid confrontation if necessary, thankyouverymuch. The first thing we were taught is simply how to shout because women are conditioned to be soft-spoken. We were taught to scream while being harassed because that would attract the attention of people which we could call to court as witnesses to prove that we said 'no'. Shouting back also startles the aggressor who needs your silence to keep attacking you, and it also shames them while in public. Shouting back can deter a physical attack and end a potentially life-threatening situation. Please don't assume that I'm an angry, impulsive little child in need of inspirational movies.
  • Rajpriya
    By
    Rajpriya
    11.08.12 11:40 PM
    I never said you should take a picture standing with them did I? I said you could have taken a picture OF them, from wherever you were and that was close enough to Asses their age but yet not so close enough to understand what they were saying.

    I won't be applauding such bravado. All those who applauded you won’t be there to rescue if you get into a similar situation and are only too flattering.

    If you wish to continue with what you feel is right and in the manner you already have you can go ahead and please yourself and the pleasure is entirely yours.

    Learning Karate could help. Jennifer Lopez starred in a movie called" Enough" in 2002, On the run from an abusive husband, a young mother begins to train herself to fight back. Could be an inspiration.

    Every one has a limit but then you should know what to do when some try to exceed those.

    I was softie when I was a kid in school. Bigger boys bullied me. I never went home crying but soon joined boxing and became the public schools champion and started playing rugby and became strong and my bullies left me alone.
  • Khadija Ejaz
    By
    Khadija Ejaz
    11.08.12 10:50 PM
    Yup, I followed Maggie Kuhn's advice too that day. At some point after shrugging and reasoning and trying clever runarounds to a recurring problem that needs direction confrontation, you need to call it like it is. The last thing I care for is approval, but it was the fear of disapproval and of 'losing control of myself' that made me feel helpless in such situations in the past and, dare I say it, even impotent. At some point a woman has had enough. Smile and take a picture with them? You gotta be kidding me. It's a war zone out there, and when someone is sexually humiliating you in public, the last thing you feel is relaxed and clever. At that point you're under attack and feeling threatened. Very easy for someone else to look back and tell the victim that they shouldn't have reacted the way they did. Somewhat an upside-down perspective to the situation, I would think. Tut, tut.
  • Rajpriya
    By
    Rajpriya
    11.08.12 10:20 PM
    I just followed Maggie Kuhn’s advice "Speak your mind, even if your voice shakes”. My guess then this was not a recent incident is true. From mid 2009 to mid 2012 is quite a long three years in my opinion to stop any recurrence by those perpetrators.

    I am a sincere hater of such pranks made against women. It could have been my own sister daughter or even my grand daughter. Having said that when do we really start putting an end to such antics of hooligans?

    I read that your friend had busied her new camera. According to your description you could not understand what they were saying but them being a mixture of late teens and early twenties shows your observation has been quite accurate and they were close enough.

    If I were you when such a drama unfolds my common sense would tell me I should keep my cool. I would relax my muscles instead of flexing them. Just you and your friend against a bunch of idiotic Indians with no reputation to lose to me is a fact that shows you were outnumbered in any eventual show off of muscular strength, worse with no one around to help you.

    Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. There is no point discussing any sense with idiots when your modesty is about to be outraged. Showing the finger and reacting angrily are not the wisest things to do under such threatening situations?

    If only you played a little trick with all your charm and said Hi! Sweet guys, could all of you please say “Cheese” they would have readily obliged and you could have made nice pictures of those idiots and later published them in your private blog and made them public. Pretending to be very friendly by toning down your language could have put you in control of any threatening situation.

    Whatever you write on NRI is for all to read and if you expect only compliments for everything you write you may be disappointed. That way you miss practical suggestions to encounter a bad situation.

    I could have applauded you myself if I thought you did something very clever. In my opinion however strong you feel how you reaction was not very clever and you lost total control of your self.

    I always believe in putting an end to problems instead of letting these things go on forever. but once again I like to "Speak my mind, even if my voice shakes”. My tips should guide you if there is second time ever of a similar situation.
  • Khadija Ejaz
    By
    Khadija Ejaz
    11.08.12 04:19 PM
    Wow, that is quite sad. This event happened in mid-2009, and I only changed fields from IT to journalism by chance in late 2010. I had written this down on my personal blog right after it had happened, and The NRI published it in now in 2012. I can assure you, I had recorded it all down exactly the way it happened. And no, my friend and I didn't have cell phones with cameras then. We did have a regular camera with us, but I don't know if you'd be able to appreciate how frightened and self-conscious stuff like this makes you feel when it's happening to you. It makes you freeze. It also makes you feel dirty and makes you want to attract less attention to yourself, which is why the first thing we did was to leave. If we'd aimed a large camera at the gang of boys, they might've charged at us. In any case, it never occurred to us to take their picture, all we did was suddenly feel dirty nd threatened and so we left. Twice. As for the curse words, that is exactly what these people had said to us over and over again because they thought it would've scared us and shut us up. Maybe it makes you uncomfortable to hear the words because it isn't the language of 'decent' folk, but it made us feel a thousand times worse to have it directed at us. And not for the first time either. If you were looking for a toned down version of a graphic event, then I'm the wrong writer for you.
  • Rajpriya
    By
    Rajpriya
    11.08.12 10:45 AM
    Reading an article about the weakness of a certain section of Indian men naturally provokes strong condemnation of sexual harassment by a society consisting of decent people, men and women alike.

    It was not too long ago that we read “Getting Eve Teased? Just Film it” on NRI.

    Writing on subjects relating to the existence of real threats to women is always welcome. As suggested by Rickie Khosla in his article if it was substantiated with strong evidence it would have helped identify culprits to have them taken to task.

    Considering the fact that the author is a very modern individual having been in the US and Toronto, Canada, sure carries a mobile if not a smart phone or could have carried a tiny camera that could have helped record the faces of those Sexual Harassers. As such however it is to be noted that no one is guilty until proved.

    Journalists in my experience sensationalize happenings to draw the attention of possible victims in the future. Any bias towards Indian youth and men should not be blown out of proportion in such story writing. Those unknown characters in the story related here remain innocent until proven guilty.

    I must admit that most number of reactions expressed to this story empathize with the author who has managed get what she expected. To me fiction is stranger than the truth and this certainly is not a recent happening.

    I am one who admires her for the right reason. She has written it well and she sure to knows to sensationalize her story but makes me take pity towards the unknown Indian youth depicted as the true victims.
  • Jayadev Menon
    By
    Jayadev Menon
    10.08.12 10:52 PM
    It's tough being a girl and the news seems to be full of stuff about women getting nasty treatment.

    Wonder who will bell the cat.

    Brave of you to stand up and fought.
  • Writerzblock
    By
    Writerzblock
    10.08.12 05:09 PM
    @ AussieDesi

    Please take a huge BOW... this is indeed harassment. I think eve-teasing is a word coined by the cowards who want to keep harassing women, but disguise their cheap behaviour with a name that reduces the intensity of the crime!
  • AussieDesi
    By
    AussieDesi
    10.08.12 05:08 PM
    So sad to hear of your most recent experience, and it sounds like there have been many others before. Well done on standing up to the bullies! (The older lady sounds like she would have been grateful for some similar attention)

    As a guy, I recall reading a TOI article on "Eve Teasing" during an India trip many years ago and was struck by how normalised my Indian-raised female cousins were to this activity as they went about their daily lives. One even made me get off a Calcutta bus as I threatened to deck the fellow who was grabbing at her rear!

    One small request - can we stop calling it "Eve Teasing" and refer to it as harrassment, because that's what it is.
  • Writerzblock
    By
    Writerzblock
    10.08.12 05:08 PM
    What a post!! I always enjoy reading your articles Khadija.

    Your question 'It never ends, does it' is what this is all about. It NEVER ends. This is all about the need for men to feel powerful, and what better way to do it, than pick on a woman!! Just shows their cheap character and reflects on their upbringing. It is a real shame that people bring up their boys in such a way.

    Again, there is no proven link between clothing and harassment. This re-emphasises it. Men just use 'clothing' as an EXCUSE to continue their cowardly and barbaric behaviour. I'm tired of debating on that subject as people will never agree!

    It is indeed brave of you to have stood up for yourself. I don't think I could have done that.
  • Rajpriya
    By
    Rajpriya
    10.08.12 08:44 AM
    Now that the dust has settled down and you have managed to achieve the number of “Bravos” for your story using as many expletives as possible in the English language to put the Indian youth living abroad to shame you have fulfilled your ambition of writing a story that the world has never heard before.

    It seems so real something that happened so long ago and the the late reporting as I read it over I cannot help feeling it’s a way too exaggerated to be true but an inspiring story that shows you have a talent.

    I pray you don’t smell offence when I exercise my freedom of expression even if it’s wrong?
  • Jimmy Varghese
    By
    Jimmy Varghese
    10.08.12 02:42 AM
    @Khadija: Well played! The way you stood up for yourself in what could have been a life endangering situation is indeed commendable.

    The optimist that I am, let me also tell you what I HOPE your actions MIGHT have led to---

    - I hope that your defiance has led to those imbeciles to have an increased sense of respect toward women and their capabilities.

    - I hope that your experience would also serve to inspire many more young women (Indian or not) to stand up for their rights (perhaps to the stage where she never expects anyone around her to help her).

    Once again, terrific job woman! :)
  • Khadija Ejaz
    By
    Khadija Ejaz
    09.08.12 10:41 PM
    Thank you all for the wonderful comments! I think at some point a person just gets sick of things and goes postal. It's an addictive feeling. ;)
  • HARRY
    By
    HARRY
    09.08.12 08:51 PM
    @ Khadija

    You are a one gutsy woman. I am happy that you stood up to those heinous creatures. They are absolutely gut-less in front of another gang. They only like picking on defenceless women. Their biggest mistake was picking on you, where you showed them and they will think twice before picking on girls again.

    My advice would be to carry a can of pepper spray. Spray it in the eyes of the toughest one, and the rest will run like bitches.

    I have faced this alot in my past and you know what there is a word for this, you are a SCRAPPER woman. :) :)

    HARRY
  • Rajpriya
    By
    Rajpriya
    09.08.12 08:16 PM
    The earth would stop revolving if all the men cease to be romantic. When Love is not in the Air the world would be so boring. So honestly men, tell me that you were so lucky that the love of your life came charging at you while you stood there like a lamppost?

    You are lying to your self if you are trying tell the world that with out a little bit of healthy flirting or teasing you found your woman. Could happen if your marriage was arranged and you were given a fat dowry and you willingly avoided going through any romance before marriage.

    Today, women like to be wooed if you happen to be the right guy. Not a single woman would say no to a little flirting if you are Mr. Right and you give due respects to your dream lady. Women do adore a little bit of naughtiness but detest the type described by the author of this post.

    Who are you guys trying please, your self or the women you want?
  • aarthycrazy
    By
    aarthycrazy
    09.08.12 07:34 PM
    hmhm.... that was quite some read. Honestly, Yeah- It was great when you stood up against those guys. But would I advice the same to my younger sister. NO, I will not. As far as I have seen, only men without real guts shout when in groups and the problem with such people is that they lose control of themselves easily when their dignity is challenged. I would tell my sister to ignore. Yeah and I think that the society is pretty much the same everywhere, no matter the nation- In truth men don't really understand the situation where a group of people tease you. Sometimes when my sister tells me stuff, it does get my blood pumping. But, , I always feel that these guys are like gutter- you cannot get back to them by throwing stones at them. It just gets yourself wet and muddy. I do hope that this incident did not put down your entire trip.
  • Poor In Java
    By
    Poor In Java
    09.08.12 07:15 PM
    It's so bad that "We Men" do these kinds of things to get fun out of it and forget about the pain and trauma we are giving to the other person and society.
    I some times feel that we as human are so developed and mature yet we most of the times behave worse than animals, why?
    Anyways, I am glad that I bumped into your post and read all through.
    Cheers and thumbs up to your fightback attitude.

    PS: I have very good friends in NDTV Delhi...perhaps you might have known them too there.
  • Rajpriya
    By
    Rajpriya
    09.08.12 04:35 PM
    Not every man is capable of drawing the attention of a woman to bring her under his spell but hooting and whistling is a certain deterrent. A man needs to have a strong character and radiate a kind of intelligence and quality to make a woman turn her head towards him in the first place.

    Armed with a clever and well-planned strategy mixed with plenty of humor focused within the limits of decency is important to get the most desirable result. Men! You need to act alone and single handed to provide the attention a woman often needs and cater to it adequately to make her feel you deserve her attention.

    Soon you will find she would exercise total control over your mind and body and prove she is more intelligent than you ever imagined. Now you go enjoy the fun you damned manipulator.
  • Jyoti Agarwal
    By
    Jyoti Agarwal
    09.08.12 01:05 PM
    When it comes to such stories, I often find men commenting more strongly than women. Strange enough, none of the men I know looks like an eve-teaser to me. I often wonder, where do they come from and where does this species exists? May be we need to have a closer look around us to identify and punish them.
  • RSM
    By
    RSM
    09.08.12 12:57 PM
    I thought you had laws against harassing women in public in Canada.
  • Amit Gupta
    By
    Amit Gupta
    09.08.12 12:29 PM
    Ah, it feels so good to read about your retaliation. I hope that women in India too read your story and get inspired by it, and take revenge against the pathos of male chauvinism and dominance.
  • Mak
    By
    Mak
    09.08.12 11:32 AM
    Well done Khadija. It takes lot of courage, for a woman, to stand up against these kind of pathetic situations and you have very well lived up to it.
  • Rajpriya
    By
    Rajpriya
    09.08.12 10:57 AM
    There are those Indians or better described, Indian manufactured Apes whose habits would follow beyond their graves but thank God they are not to be seen in Germany.

    These Apes feel strong only in groups never when they are alone and isn't that really funny?

    However, if they did ever make their way here the Neo Nazis would really turn them in to a lot of mice leaving no place to run or hide.
  • tys
    By
    tys
    09.08.12 09:21 AM
    bravo!

    this pathetic need for chest thumping and posturing might have had its need in the mating rituals of our species about a million years back , but is down right stupid and insulting right now...

    bravo! Stand up and grab that respect if its not being given to you.

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