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Good Mo(u)rning Mr Valentine!

Good Mo(u)rning Mr Valentine!

February 14, 2012

For it is not love if it does not show !!!

It is that time of the year again. Today is THE day - your only opportunity to show how much you love your bitter better half. So what if nations are at war, the world is coming to an end, you are thinking of switching boy/girl friends, or you have realized this is perhaps a merger of convenience and not a marriage of love. This is your only chance to publicly show the expansiveness of your love.

Today, there will be flash mobs in different parts of the country dancing in pink. Today, there will be love letter competitions on reality television shows. Today, companies selling cards will generate most of their annual revenue. To make things more interesting, politicians and fanatics who feel compelled to exercise their powers on the rest of mankind in the name of moral policing will raid a few public parks and beat up unsuspecting couples hidden under umbrellas in the name of saving our rich Indian culture from western contamination. Despite this, love will blossom, like those tiny colorful spring flowers after a downpour in the deserts, in colonies and neighborhoods, in front of schools and colleges, and in buses and local trains.

Tonight, there will be gifts, flowers, candle night dinners, and claims of husband taking a half day off work, or better still, not going to work at all
. Tonight there will be sultry love making, with all your half-baked teenage fantasies from the Harlequin Romances coming true. How do I know all this, you may ask? From Facebook, of course. Is there a better medium of showoff affluence display than Facebook? There will be six dozen “surprise” roses arriving at the office during an unsuspecting moment when you are at a meeting pretending you did not even know it is Valentine’s Day.

There would be bars and standards set in comparison to previous years, or better still, in comparison to what your friends got this year. Like cricket, there will be live updates of the different stages and phases of the display of love. “Just received a bunch of flowers at work. Love you hubby!” (with 50 “Likes” and a dozen “awwwww” comments on Facebook). “Hubby is chopping onions and crying, in the process of cooking the “surprise” tandoori chicken for our candlelit dinner”. “Wonder why hubby went to Tiffany’s last week with his female office colleague!” “Hubby just told his boss he does not care that he is on pager duty, and is taking off for the rest of the afternoon”.

Honestly, would you have much respect for a person who refuses to go to work because it is Valentine’s Day? I would, actually. I would go swooning at his feet out of respect, wondering if he can differentiate between praise and sarcasm. With a bunch of carnations and an incarnation of Cupid for a husband, the only good thing missing in life would be a live documentation of the amorous life you lead. Facebook comes into the picture now and satisfies the need for a live coverage of love, longing, hormones, pheromones, and expectation fulfillment in the name of “Surprise!!!!”.

I was greeted by an email this morning (by one of those websites that convince you into buying useless stuff on Valentine’s day) that read, “Have you experienced that deep-rooted longing, the longing for a love that is big, beautiful, and blissful?” Of course I have, I told myself. With five methods courses this semester, research work, homework, assignments, writing papers, attending conferences, learning statistical software like Stata and SPSS, modeling logistic regression data, and slogging through my PhD, all I feel at the end of the day is a “longing for that big and beautiful love”.

Hence I take a shower every night, tuck myself in bed, play a few rounds of online scrabble or read the book “He’s not that into you”, fall asleep snoring my brains out, and it is morning again, the alarm is shrieking mercilessly for my 8 am class, and it is time to run to work. Is that not the big, beautiful love? No, really, it is refreshing to see so many people view life and romanticism through a different lens, a lens where there is joy in not just receiving gifts, but in showing it off on a social networking site. I do not know if it is age, hormones, or mental makeup, but who cares? At least you are not wasting and whiling the last few years of your youth hunched on categorical predictors and missing data handling. Please do not take me seriously. Long before I consulted the doctor, I knew I suffered from “Sour Grapes Syndrome”.

Happy Valentines Day, everyone. Please keep the love alive, kicking, and most importantly, showing! For it is not love if it does not show.

Photo credit
: ViaMoi 


  • Devasmita Chakraverty
    Devasmita Chakraverty
    14.02.12 09:14 PM
    @ Rajpriya, thank you :) Next post should be there in about a week.

    @tys, there is no final picture to this. We will lean toward a more "socializing in the virtual world and doing everything every Tom, Dick, and Harry does" world. That is my hunch.

    @Writerzblock, I do not think people do it to make a point. We just follow trends. Never heard my father send lovey messages to my mother on Facebook, and my uncles and aunts replying with "awww"s. :)

    @Harry, do not worry about me taking exits :) Just enjoy the posts :) I am greatly enjoying my drive, I assure you.
    14.02.12 08:37 PM
    @ DC
    Another great post, one thing I will say is, if you want to ride the roller coaster, then you will have to get off at the next exit. By doing this you can also write all the silly stuff on social network ( facebook ) as well like rest of the young people. Happy valentine DC

  • Rajpriya
    14.02.12 03:59 PM
    Love can heal.
    Love can renew.
    Love can make us safe.
    Love can inspire us with its power.
    Love can bring us closer to God.

    Everything love is meant to do is possible. Knowing this, however, has only made the gap between love and non-love more painful.

    Countless people have experienced love--as pleasure, sex, security, having someone else fulfill their daily needs--without seeing that a special path has opened to them. Socially, the "normal" cycle of love is simply to find a suitable partner, marry, and raise a family. But this social pattern isn't a path, because the experience of marriage and raising a family isn't automatically spiritual. Sad to say, many people enter lifelong relationships in which love fades over time or provides lasting companionship without growing in its inner dimension. A spiritual path has only one reason to exist: it shows the way for the soul to grow. As it grows, more of spiritual truth is revealed, more of the soul's promise is redeemed.

    When you find your path, you will also find your love story. People today are consumed by doubts about their relationships: Have I found the right partner? Am I being true to myself? Have I given the best part of myself away? As a result, there is a restless kind of consumer shopping for partners, as if the "right" one can be found by toting up a potential mate's pluses and minuses until the number of pluses matches some mythical standard. The path to love, however, is never about externals. However good or bad you feel about your relationship, the person you are with at this moment is the "right" person, because he or she is a mirror of who you are inside. Our culture hasn't taught us this (as it has failed to teach us so much about spiritual realities). When you struggle with your partner, you are struggling with yourself. Every fault you see in them touches a denied weakness in yourself. Every conflict you wage is an excuse not to face a conflict within. The path to love therefore clears up a monumental mistake that millions of people make--the mistake that someone "out there" is going to give (or take) something that is not already yours. When you truly find love, you find yourself.

    From a book by Deepak Chopra
  • Writerzblock
    14.02.12 02:57 PM
    Ha ha, very well written!!! And I think you hit the nail with this line: 'there is joy in not just receiving gifts, but in showing it off on a social networking site.' I seriously don't understand why anybody does that.. I mean, what is the point in a couple talking to each other via Facebook, just to get all those 'likes' and 'awwws'?!!
  • tys
    14.02.12 10:41 AM
    personally i am all for dedicating a day for emoting..that way u dont have to bother the rest of the year and get on with your life and only pay attention 1 day of the year...its great...economical.

    the only thing is remembering all the bloody dates...isnt it amazing that the social networks lead us from day to day like a numbered drawing? I wonder what the final picture will be like.


    happy valentines day to all of you...even if you cant find the key to your flat, may you still stumble upon love.
  • Rajpriya
    14.02.12 09:00 AM

    Excellently described in how differently you can express Love. Does Love really relate only to a man and woman getting together? No! You've just earned my 5 Stars. Was great reading.

    When is your next post? Keep writing.

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