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Aunty Ne Bana Di Jodi

Aunty Ne Bana Di Jodi

September 24, 2012

Can love be arranged? The Indian marriage mafia strikes again!

The Arranged Marriage menace is a funny business. Funny, but deadly at the same time. Funny for the onlookers. Deadly for the ones involved, in any way. When everyone under the sun tries to be the matchmaker, fireworks are sure to ensue. It becomes the ultimate (short-term) goal of you neighbor’s cousin’s aunt's sister in law to find a suitable groom/bride for you. You ask why a short term goal? Well, simply because, there are new people turning eighteen and twenty-one everyday! 

A matchmaker's life isn't an easy one. With serious competition from newspapers and matrimonial sites, it is a downhill journey every day. Also, as the new trend of falling in love and getting married is on a rise, they sure need something, anything that can re-vamp the age old 'Indian' traditions. Inter-caste weddings are also to be blamed, in some way. After all, how the hell would the matchmaker aunty know that Sweety is interested in a lungi-clad mallu man and not a Punjab da gabru jawan!

The matchmaker aunty (men can't carry off this role!) doesn't work for money or fame. Her ultimate desire in life is to see happy couples with chubby kids who love dal-makhni and chur chur naan. Her only pleasure would be when the couple comes back to thank her for being the matchmaker and shout out loud, for everyone to hear-  "Aunty ne bana di jodi!" This is what she works for. She is like a NGO, selfless and with a heart of gold.

Do you know how to spot the matchmaker aunty? I must tell you, it is not easy and you need to be cautious to spot her. She might be around you, disguised in the any form you can imagine. She would be the one asking questions and passing silly remarks, which you won't even bother about. And that is the catch! What you thought was a harmless conversation, will soon become a stepping-stone to your doomsday. Watch out for things like -"Oh, so it has been 2 years since you're working.", "You look so young!", " Your elder sister got married, no?", "Come to my place sometime, we'll sit and talk", "So, are you seeing somebody?", "You're a grown up now. Last time I saw you, you still believed you could become a writer! Ah, so how is that thing going? Stopped already?" So, whenever, you see any of that coming, run like there is no tomorrow and make sure you don't bump into another one of her species along the way.

Just when you thought you were lucky to get away, she'll give your parents some 'pep-talk' and then, my friend, there is no escape. Unless, like me, you live in another city. The details of this conversation would remain a secret, more or less. The parents know you won't embrace the 'gyaan' they have been bestowed with. At times, they are even afraid that telling the grown up kids about this conversation would be a game changer and they might revert back to the rebellious teenager again! They remember how tough it was to deal with all the mess you showered on them, when you were sixteen. It still gives them nightmares. Having to deal with it, all over again gives them butterflies in their stomach and they think they should rather be mute about this whole thing.

But, one fine day the matchmaker aunty shows them a photograph. By this time, your parents have already tried the newspaper and various matrimonial sites. They have dealt with all the dodos that seemed to be on a similar wavelength like you. So, this photograph entices them like never before. The added advantage that the matchmaker aunty has your best interests in mind gives them all the hope.

Hope is a strange thing. It gives parents the courage to deal with all your teenage tantrums, once again! Unless you have someone to bring home to your parents, and they accept the person, it is a rocky road ahead. Sooner or later, you start running out of excuses. Take my advice, and find someone before that day comes. After all, you'll know what you're marrying into!

Photo credit


  • Abhi
    18.04.13 11:42 PM
    @ Akanksha Dureja - i apologise for the followng reply. Ur article was light-hearted and funny and my comment is pretty serious, however i want to say all this. Just for my satisfaction.

    Arranged or love, the foundation of any marriage is mutual respect. Love is a lucky bonus, whether it happens before the marriage or blossoms in the marriage.
    Mutual respect comes when the wife is just as educated, just as cultered, just as hard-working, just as strong and just as bold as the husband.
    Anything less of that is a master-slave relationship(man being the master).
    A husband is not the boss of his wife. I repeat, husband IS NOT the boss of his wife. They should be equals.
    There is generally more equality and mutual respect in a love marriage than in an arranged marriage.
    There is no guarantee that an arranged marriage will not fail and there is no guarantee that a love marriage will fail. Marriage is hard work, both husband and wife will have to work hard towards a succesful marriage.

    You say a guy u meet on ur own might have AIDS???Applying the same logic, a guy u meet thru arranged marriage could have AIDS too!!!

    The position of women is the most important factor in any relationship-be it a marriage or a live in.
    The advantage of a love marriage is that a woman has the freedom to choose a partner, live with that partner, or divorce that partner. Same as any man.
    However, in a lot of arranged marriages, women get treated as a property to be sold to men. They are considered inferior. Low quality. Not as human beings of equal standing as men but servants.
    Of course, in cultered, educated families, this may not be the case. Many parents, today, allow their daughters to find someone on their own.

    The Western culture is not evil as many may think. The Western folks are raised with a sense of freedom to do as one wishes. I think that's an excellent way to be raised...
    ...unlike raising an entire generation of rapists, eve-teasers, molestors and paedophiles like we Indians seem to have done...n i think ppl who are responsible for it, r those that think like you.
    You, Unjana/unjani is the kind of person who hears of a woman being raped and then blames the woman for wearing a mini-skirt !!!
    You may never realise that we have the right not to be raped, irrespective of what we are wearing.
    When a man thinks like this, he is just a fool. But when a woman thinks like this, it is a disgrace.
    The reason arranged marriages don't usually end up in a divorce is probably because the women are taught from early on to suffer in silence. They are conditioned so.
    One always sees the stereotype of an angry, yelling husband and a quite, docile wife who obeys.
    Since ancient days, Indian men are conditioned to be smart and Indian women are conditioned to be good(read submissive)...really ironic considering the powerful goddesses and other female deities of our Indian culture.

    There are many arranged marriages where women get, i say its better for their children to live happily with divorced parents, than to live with a father who beats up their mother.
  • Atheist Indian
    Atheist Indian
    13.10.12 05:54 PM
    @ Harry
    There are far more complex reasons for the general degradation of western value systems than 'bed hopping', as you call it. I'd place more blame on capitalist aspirationalism and the high cost of living in a country like the UK, which forces both parents to work and not enough energy or time for their kids. Pre-marital sex or marrying for love doesn't destroy cultures, materialism to the point of ethical corruption does.
    If the UK or US are held as examples, the equivalent example of the arranged marriage system would be Taliban's Afghanistan. Try Poland, Spain or closer home, North East India. These cultures are as far removed from Indian arranged marriage system as possible and yet, they have solid family values and socio-cultural integrity.
    At the very least, people in love marriages have a choice, a choice that might or might not exist in arranged marriages.
  • Shai
    01.10.12 11:34 PM
    Haha, funny article :) Anyhow, arranged or love marriage - its all a gamble at the end of the day. But then what isn't a gamble in life?
  • Ravi
    28.09.12 06:52 AM
    Came on NRI to see any interesting comment.But.......... NO matter what Unjana has made this topic most popular. 33 Comments.But 6-8 are jst by the Akansha. It was nice reading all comments.I did not find any topic with so man comments on NRI
  • Shashi
    26.09.12 06:11 AM
    Hahaha... Just ignore Unjana/Unjanee/Unknown whatever new synonym he is going to come up with. It's the same person, just trying to have some fun with people who are going to believe that he is for real. I think his bad grammar/spelling is intentional :)
  • Neeraj
    26.09.12 02:37 AM
    @ naks

    You have a very strong point. In love marriage too 50%is arranged . Like arranged marriage. But in love marriage in few cases they even live for 5-6 years together then marry.
    26.09.12 01:17 AM
    @ Naks

    By far you made the best point on this post. Short sweet and direct to the point. My one thousand salam to you who ever you are. Nice one.
  • Akanksha Dureja
    Akanksha Dureja
    25.09.12 11:22 PM
    I agree that it might work in some cases. But the nose poking aunty-jees sure are a pain at times. I would like to come back to internet aunty-jees, as you suggested, sometime! :) Thanks for the comment!
  • naks
    25.09.12 11:15 PM
    Internet dating is arranged, set ups by friends is arranged. If these lead to love and marriage are we supposed treat these negatively? Short answer: no! What you dislike is the lack of tact that your average Indian auntie uses for introductions. In this respect I agree with your piece. By describing aunties quite negatively in your piece, you attack a long standing cultural tradition that may need modernising but works in many cases. I do wish it was more balanced, taking into account that western culture relies heavily on Internet dating, which by my reckoning makes your computer your auntie. I look forward to reading a follow up piece!! Great that you comment back..
  • Akanksha Dureja
    Akanksha Dureja
    25.09.12 10:30 PM
    I guess Deepa has said everything which I wanted to say. This post was for a lighthearted read, nothing more, nothing less. I am glad you are one of those liberal human beings who leave the choice to the kids. I also agree, that a wedding is mutual respect for each other, apart from love. But, the process in case of arranged ones is quite maddening, although the end result could be a great one.

    This post was meant for a light hearted read, digging out humor from those around us. Nothing more, nothing less.
  • Akanksha Dureja
    Akanksha Dureja
    25.09.12 10:23 PM
    @ Roshni
    Even I am wondering…I guess the first comment my Unjana/Unjani is the culprit here.

    @ phoenixritu
    Very well said.

    Thanks for reading :) Glad you liked it. And good for you, that you don't have to face it all.
  • Deepa
    25.09.12 10:07 PM
    I'll honestly, genuinely agree with you on the fact that we should take the best of both cultures. What I am against is simply bashing a practice (be it love or arranged, they both have pros and cons, rather they both have lots of failed examples and success stories too!) simply without knowing what goes into it (My response was specifically to Unjana/Unjaani)
  • Naks
    25.09.12 09:48 PM
    This article is a light hearted read and a bit vacuous in places. I find match making aunties quite funny and if like me you come from a progressive liberal family, they can often be a source of great humour. I get that 'set ups' can be cringe worthy but so are blind dates, internet dating and awkward 'set ups' by friends. What are the difference?

    If this article is about an enforced (without consent) marriage then the article makes sense. I suspect it is not ! Embrace your Aunties. If like me you are not the Village Idiot, you can more than cope with their meddling every now and again.
    25.09.12 09:31 PM
    @ Deepa

    You are right in saying that arranged marriages break down as well. The kind of marriages you are talking about is very extream kind, I call it toxic where the only motives are financial ones not the real concept of marriages. The kind of marriages where women are trapped in are a bad and extream kind which I'm not endorsing. These kind of marriages are not even marriages in my opinion. If I was this kind of bastard and my wife cheated on me or left me then I deserved it because it's not real marriage if you see my point. This kind of marriages are not real, they are only there for sake of an excuse of marriage. The kind of marriages I'm talking about are everyday run of mill kind. The real union of a man and a woman with out any conditions. Which I think and know are kind of different.

    The bed hopping that you high lighted is real in UK. I'm not against bed hopping, each to their own I say. This is norm where I live and nobody bats an eyelid about it either. It is an acceptibale practice for boyfriends and girlfriends to live at each others houses at the weekend in the same bed room. People I know who says that if you say no to them then they will do it anywhere so why say no.

    I have six young people who works for me and I know thing do change alot in term of boyfriends and girlfriends. This is norm like I said.

    The people who tells you never ape western valus are the ones who lives in middle of this. Drug use, high crimes underage pregnency drinking in streets demise of a culture and values and when somebody from across few thousand miles apes this then we have to say no and the main reason is it's not that we don't know what we talking about. It's what we see that we don't like and that's our main reason.

    I'm not saying don't buy best things invented in west or adopt best social change which will change the way we live in India but what we are saying is don't take the bad part of the culture with it.

    We Indian's and NRI should be selective in what we take from other cultures. If the social change and technology that can be intigrated in our life which can enrich us then we should adopt the change, but if it can not then we should reject it as rubish. This is same as you not taking your neighbours garbage in your house.

    The people who sometime write extream views are the one in front line of the demise western cultures.

    We have great culture and concept by making some changes we can even make it better. We don't need outside toxic ideas that tell us that what we have is rubish, because it's not, and it's taken me few years to realise this living here.

  • Deepa
    25.09.12 06:58 PM
    @Unknown. Wow, now that's something even more twisted, with Unjana I thought I have read it all, but you managed to prove me wrong. Seriously, where are you getting all this! Now I know how easy it is to brainwash someone. "female fetus killing for giving ten lakes" - what's that even supposed to mean? I don't get it. You're educated enough to use the internet and get on to the NRI and read the articles, you attempt to correct Unjana's English yet, this is what you have learnt? How can something go so drastically wrong?
  • Akanksha Dureja
    Akanksha Dureja
    25.09.12 02:25 PM

    Wow, what a perspective! I think even trying to clean your filthy mind might take decades.You're justifying dowry and female foeticide today, tomorrow you will justify rape. It is the presence of the likes of you in the societ that India can never ever even dream of sexual equality for both genders.
  • Deepa
    25.09.12 09:04 AM
    Oh and btw, when you talk about bed hopping, there are also men/women who go around bed hopping with girls of their choice and eventually 'settle down' / tie the knot with one of their parents' choosing via an arranged marriage. What do you say to that? Love gone wrong or arranged is a hoax?
  • Deepa
    25.09.12 09:02 AM
    I do have one comment here. As far as bed hopping goes, might be really common in the west if you say it is, but in India, love marriages do not mean bed hopping. Quite the contrary. And if you talk stats, then quite a lot of arranged marriages are breaking down too. Reason being as women get more financially independent and economically stable, they choose to not stick in abusive (emotional/physical) marriages. Has got nothing to do with it being a love/arranged marriage. Regardless of the case, I still side with mutual respect and understanding.
  • Unknown
    25.09.12 06:19 AM
    Thanks unjana, for sure here is difference in man and woman psychology. Man want to be teacher ,preacher and provider where as woman wants to be just opposit of that.

    For sure what ever happens in tis developed western society there are women's shelters in abondence in western society.

    with the difference of man and women,s psychology the age difference plays a positive role in marriage.

    4/5 years difference helps to deal with pre manuposal symptoms too.When women is 40 and husband is 45 or may be 5 years after. If women is dealing with all those harmonal changes symptoms a mature person or older person will understand and his needs will be different than the same age person. I feel "women thy name is harmone" After 50 /55 man psychology changes too and they are not very much in divorce mood.

    I don't know why people think dowry is bad. What does a girl get from paternal property? Just that peanut dowry? And the sons get all the
    Property? In western society there is pre nap if there is it dowry. Because the moment a lady marries the very next day she can ask divorce and can divide a person into 1/2
    So if parents are giving or suppose 10lakhs dowry that is equal to 25 to30,000 dollars. But son gets total property. I will say female fetus killing for giving ten lakes and giving total property just in hope of he will take care in old age. Or he gets more because he will take care in old age.

    I will say thanks unjana for pointing all those points with proper resion.


    AND GIVE YOUR CHILD A STABLE LIFE HOME. They don't have voice but their heart breaks for ever. A life is lost forever in comparison to half life wasted.

    I felt English is not your first language. But whose is it. You wrote a long comment. Spelling mistakes and other things are negligible. thanks again
    25.09.12 12:19 AM
    @ Akanksha

    That's a brilliant advice. I have told my kids if they find someone, do let me know. I am open with this, when it comes to marriage.

    This is nice as a satire and the way it's written, I like it.

    Unjana / Unjanee has made few valid points I agree with but not all. I think there are few faults in arranged marriages I don't agree with but over all it it a good concept if you modify it.

    I know lots of people who have done both kind of marriages and the only surviving one are arranged marriages. In my own family there are two love marriages and three arragned marriages and both of the love marriages are broken down and the kids are left out.

    In western way to find your love is by kissing lots of frogs ( Bed hopping ). This is a common practise and nobody will call you any names. My question to you is this, How is this called love? and going by the point which was made by Unjana is, what's a point in buying a cow when you can get free milk and believe me you can get lots of free milk where I live, and more then likely you will also come across where every child from same mother will have different father and I know lots of them as well. So how can this be classified love? If this constitute love then god help you. This is what the new modern love marriages are creating are lots of damaged kids who of no fault of their own are in middle of cross fire in UK.

    Two out of every three marriages end in divorce in UK and these are not stats they are real figures. That's says much about love marriages doesn't it. One minute you are in love with one person next minute you are in love with another. Can these be classified love?

    One other point I wanted to make was this, why do dating site in west are big business and worth more in value then real business. This is where all the washed up and used up men and women end up after lots of bed hopping. When they can't be asked with the rat race.
    I have lots of mates whites blacks who are in the same positions.

    Love is only an emotion one exibits when they want something from other like sex. When you meet most men they only want sex not love, when they meet you first time and the one who wants love is the one who is washed up good and proper from bed hopping.

    Most men which I have came across only wants to sleep with women but does not want the emotional garbage called love and relationship. Next time you want to go hunting for your love by kissing your frogs think about what I just said.

    In west women are disposable pleasure not envious pursuit. The day you overlook this is the day you will meet your doom. Happy hunting.

    Don't take this as an insult it's only an advice.


    Damn I can see lots of typos and speling mistakes. Not to worry.
  • Abhishek Leela Pandey
    Abhishek Leela Pandey
    24.09.12 11:22 PM
    Hey Anjana, you know what I like most about you, guess, your name, darling.......

    Commenting on your rhetoric would invest a lot of energy and patience, thanks, Ritu Ma'am has dome it already...

    Now dear, please respect the language which you use to express your ideas. I am inclined to point out erratic grammar, spelling mistakes, wrong positioning of phrases...

    Improvement has got a room upstairs......
    :P :p :)
  • Abhishek Leela Pandey
    Abhishek Leela Pandey
    24.09.12 11:13 PM
    I love the way you write, though being a man, hopefully, a tough one, and a psycho I don't really understand this marriage aunty thing but your article has crept in me and I feel I understand it to some extent now.....

    The best thing is the effective use of pun and satire in the humorous way..

    The way you use phrases leave an impact and readers may start entering the virtual world that you tend to create...
  • phoenixritu
    24.09.12 09:45 PM
    Good gosh My comment is for Unjana/Unjani. Are you for real? 1. If a 57 marries a 20 something, he must tolerate a lot of cheating in the marriage! The age difference will make that inevitable. 2. Why should women tolerate bossism? 3. Yeah get yourself a girl from a weaker family so that you can bully her - Sick! Oh forget it. I could go on and on - but obviously you are mentally in la la land and no sense would get through to you. Live in your idiotic world but please do not foist your concepts on us!
  • Roshni
    24.09.12 09:38 PM
    I believe this article was written tongue-in-cheek and I'm not sure why it garnered such 'serious' comments!!
    I agree with Deepa respect is essential in a marriage!
  • Akanksha Dureja
    Akanksha Dureja
    24.09.12 02:24 PM
    @Deepa - Oh, sorry I missed that one. Can't believe there are people who still believe in all the bullshit about women being less than men.

    @Unjana/Unjani - Oh My God, are you serious? As Deepa rightfully said, there is no point in justifying anything coz you seem too closed for that. Never mind.
  • Deepa
    24.09.12 02:15 PM
    @Akanksha: Naah, I mean 'bringing girls from the lower class so the girls feel lucky or proud'. Read the comment above from Unjana/Unjani. I feel sorry but I know that none of my words are going to make any difference there, so I won't.
  • Akanksha Dureja
    Akanksha Dureja
    24.09.12 02:11 PM
    IT is not about what someone has to tolerate about a marriage. If the word 'tolerate' slips in, I guess the happiness in any marriage would not be for real.

    "Bringing girls from lower class so that they feel proud? " - Omg, really? I don't see that happening in India at least where they think it is okay to kill a woman for honor just because she thought she had the right to fall in love with a guy from a different caste! In no way do I support this, but unfortunately, that is what happens in India.
  • Akanksha Dureja
    Akanksha Dureja
    24.09.12 02:03 PM

    Thanks for reading. :-) I can not say that all that you mentioned in your comment above, does not happen. It is a truth about India, which I am ashamed of.

    You are right that divorces don't happen , not because the marriages are happy, but because divorce is still a taboo , and in many cases the families are not ready to accept. Women are becoming independent, but there are very less people in their families who would support a woman if she takes the decision of separation. Endless tries to brainwash the girl would follow.

    My heart breaks too, when I see all of this happening around me. It is a sad reality, that even in 21st century, women are considered a lesser species in India and they are killed for honor, rapes, killed for dowry and many more evils which Indian society boasts about :(
  • Deepa
    24.09.12 02:03 PM
    Ha ha ha. Still laughing. Some seriously twisted thoughts there. I won't even bother to justify or explain.
  • Deepa
    24.09.12 02:00 PM
    I couldn't resist commenting! Love marriage or arranged, why should you tolerate bossism? Bringing girls from lower class so they feel lucky or proud? I have no idea how old you are, but if that's your expectation from a marriage and if you are married to someone sharing your views, am truly happy for you. Otherwise, you've got a long way to go!
  • Akanksha Dureja
    Akanksha Dureja
    24.09.12 01:56 PM

    Thanks for reading, and glad you liked it. I agree with you to an extent that there is no guarantee that love marriages will work and arrange marriages will not. There are a lot of factors involved here. My point in the post here was simple - The process an arranged marriage has to go through is maddening even today. Although I can never disagree that the result could be awesome. It is just one has to deal with a lot of shit and so many dodos until the right man comes along.
  • Akanksha Dureja
    Akanksha Dureja
    24.09.12 01:49 PM
    I totally agree that it is a western concept that love is essential for marriage. But, you know in my opinion it might be one of the good things that we can take up from western influence.

    Matrimonial sites, Newspapers and Matchmakers will continue to exist though..It is the process which is maddening although the end result could be awesome.

    Thanks for the recommendation. I'll check out Japanese philosophies on this, for sure!
  • Hermance Lahiri
    Hermance Lahiri
    24.09.12 10:50 AM
    As an American living in India my observations are different. Just in my close friends circle within the last year we had one newly wed bride committing suicicide, one bride abandoning her newly aquired family (yes, here you marry a family, not just the man) and one daughter eloping with the man of her choice; she now is declared "death" to the family.

    The dowry "sale" of the brides is an evil, which is against the law, but is routinely practiced with sometimes tragic results.

    Divorces are probably not as common here as in the Western countries, not because the marriages are happy. The women are financialy and socially trapped. Frequently uneducated, unable to provide for themselves and their children and belonging to a family which will not take her back because their "honor" is at stake, she stays in an abusive situation.

    How does a bride know that the man Aunty picked for her is honest, kind, not a boozer or wife beater, if she is not allowed to see him or even speak with him before the marriage? All she knows before the wedding day is that he is of the right cast, has the right skin color and is willing to accept the gold her parents offer to take their daughter of their hands.

    My heart breaks for these unhappy brides.
  • Deepa
    24.09.12 09:23 AM
    LOL. Nice one. I completely agree on the whole 'matchmaking aunties'. There are some who seem to be born to do just that! :) Nice read. However I agree with Satish. I would side with love marriage too but then I personally know couples who swear by arranged marriages and looking at them you would never think they had one. There's so much love and understanding in them! And I also know couples who have fought to get a love marriage only to part ways in a couple of years. At the end of the day, its about mutual respect and understanding, support and getting along.
  • satish
    24.09.12 08:28 AM
    Nice read but the premise that love is essential for a marriage is so western! Mutual respect is essential and if love happens, as it very often does post-facto simply because of proximity, it is a super bonus. The reason why matrimonial/ dating sites flourish is simply mathematical: they come up with N times the options that an individual on her/ his own would be able to. Ditto 'Aunties'. Do read some Japanese philosophers on this:)
  • Unjana/Unjanee
    24.09.12 06:31 AM
    I am sorry to see NRI is trying to finish the Cultural values and traditions of India. A Millions and millions of year old tradition seems to be useless by NRI"S

    If love marriage is best then why 60% of the high school chilren come from the single family?

    If Love marriage is best then why is the saying Love is blind. If a thing is blind means it is not ok.

    If love marriage is best then why 59 years oldman marries a 27 years old lady. Men need younger girls and in love marriage girls are mostly co worker or clas fellow. Means same age.In arrange marriage parents choose at least 2-5 years age gap which is good with the womens psychology and their differently developed mind. If they are yonger they can tolrate a littlebit of more muscular energy power. Same age can not tolrate bossissim.

    In arrange marriage parents take care that girl is going to a better economic ,social and educated family where she has lived. So girl gets beter condition and are happy. Sma eway parents bring girls from a littlebit lower class family so that what ever she gets she feel lucky or proud.

    If you do a work you have courage to undo that work.But in arrangemarriage it is marriage of 2 familyes. So lots of people are involved. And that is why you don't have courage of breaking or divorce. You may give a reason a life gets wasted. Bt what about the life of young children involved in this marriage? One week with papa another week with mama one weekend with maternal grand parents another week wth maternal grand parents. Grades starts falling high school drop out and then drugs and what not so You think you are feeding them well giving them toys.

    If you can give them something givethem one shelter. Their biological parenta .

    In arrange marriage girls are mostly from another city so her paents do not have chance to mix in her daughter's affairs. Love marriages are local so girls mother has influence in her daghter's family life which causes another propblem.

    You will say in love marriage we know the person. DO YOU KNOW THAT YOUR BOYFRIEND HAS HIV OR AIDS. OR SOME MORE THINGS.People will hide wat they will like to hide.

    on top of that do you know that human mind recollects the thing which he did first time of tasted the thing first time. These live in boy friends why will they marry? Why will somebody buy cow if he gets free milk?

    In my family 3 marriges were love marriage and in all three cases the death od spouce I have dought that they were sucide.

    If auntie was unable to find out somthing bad you blame her. But when you know you were not informed. It is frustrating. It creates "GLANI" "PASHATAP"
    wHEN YOU KNOW MARRIAGE IS PARENTS WORK YOU ARE paying attention to studies. but when you have pressure of finding of girlfriend/boyfriend your lota of thigs get effected too.

    Lastly if you can do love once how can you say you will not fall in love again? That is why it is good to control this love..........

    I heard one of the NRI saying how can by soulmate can be found by my parents. after 15 years of marriage I have seen 60% of the marriages turning into "SOUL KILLERS" PARENTS GREY HAIR HAVE NOT TURNED IN SUN'S RAYS. THEY HAVE EXPERIENCE. AND at the end tell me why will parents choose a bad person for the daughter or son.?

    I have seen lots of lovers who got married by arranged marriage at the end with somebody else. Said what ever parents do they are right.

    Or my father did not like my hsband because he was less educated than me Now when I have 2 children I know why my father disliked my boyfriend to whome I married.

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