The first naked woman I saw was in the french magazine which I had ‘borrowed’ from my aunt's house in Ooty. She was married to a french man. Uncle, had passed away long ago and my aunt remained in this beautiful cottage there with his only daughter. I was visiting them over the second Saturday outing we get from my boarding school.
The book was wedged between some heavy bound books in their vast library. I have this knack for ferreting out things I should not be finding.
The book had black and white pictures of naked women who I knew were white.
I was 12 and I was hooked.
Until a much older age , the only naked women I had seen were all white women.
None in real life. All in magazines or on the wonderful splendor that is the television.
I don't think I am alone here. I think a lot of the men of my generation thought that all naked women are white. Porn achieved what KKK could not. It had made us sexual racists.
We want sex. White women equal sex and they want us. Brilliant deduction.
Me? I wasn't very particular I am afraid. Give me a break. I studied in a boys only school for heavens sake. On released, I was out of control. But that was a long time ago.
Now I am married, which is to say that being faithful is not a requirement but a necessity if I want to keep all my appendages. However insignificant they might seem to others.
In a previous article Angela Carson inquired, ‘why on earth do Indian men try to cheat on their wives with her?’
You are white, woman!!!
You are a sexual magnet and want us. We also presume that you have a butterfly tattoo on your lower back and scream 'yes! yes! yes!' whenever we happen to touch you.
In our defense, we would like to plead that we have been completely brain washed by the western porn industry. We are not guilty. Merely mislead.
And its all your fault.
Welcome to the next best thing after the Great Indian Rope Trick, the Great Indian Turning The Table Trick.
You point one finger at us and we will show you that there are 4 pointing right back at you. Technically only 3 since the thumb will be pointing at your feet, which is still you. So 4 it is.
Every sexual deviation that you witness in India? Well how can you point that out when it happens in your own country. In fact you exported it to us.
We were peaceful, celibate, holy cow worshipers before you came with your tattoos and screams. Just ignore the Kamasutra and the Khajuraho temples. There are no naked Indian girls. Its a myth. They don't exist. If they do then they too are victims of western propaganda.
You are not going to win this.
Its all your fault. You are eroding our carefully preserved corpse we call our culture. For the cultural police out there, I mean corpse in a good way. A corpse is the fodder upon which new life is regenerated.
So we are good? Great.
I too, I must confess, have spend afternoons on Kovalam’s beaches, hiding behind dark sunglasses, pretending not to stare at the half naked madamas (that is a mallu way of addressing a white woman, not to be confused with madam ass, which is plain rude). The only probable reason I did not act on my adolescent lust was perhaps by inborn cowardice, which I fondly refer to as shyness.
I am glad actually. It would have shattered my dreams if one of them had actually come and spoken to me. I would have seen them as human beings rather than just objects. God forbid. We wouldn't want that would we? Who would fulfill our nocturnal fantasies? The parachute clad mallu girls? No way. They are for marriage. Where sex comes to die.
Truth is as men, we are not very discriminating when it comes to sex. Let us just say white women hold a special place in our porn filled heads.
So to answer Angela, who I believe deserves an answer - its not them. Its you.
By now you must know that you can't blame an Indian. You just can't. We are redeemed from all possible sins forever because we were ruled by white people. Yeah, I know. British, America, Europe. We are very liberal in our generalizations.
Make no mistake, I do not speak for every single Indian men out there. I am sure in the land that produced a Gandhi, mutants have to be always accounted for. I am sure there are among us people who are unbiased in their sexual preference, perhaps even patriotic. I salute them.
I, however, do not claim to be one of them.
I am a regular man. With not a trace of that phenomenon called metro sexuality. I like women. Period.
But when you are married to a 5 foot tall dynamite with the temper of a banshee and the speed of lightening, one tends to walk within a defined line. Yep. Call me a coward. I don't care. I like keeping whatever I came with when I leave.
That said, I wonder if I would if I could. I guess in my case its a combination of laziness and contentment. And not wanting to let down a person who trusts you implicitly. Its helps that I am as ugly as sin so temptation is not something I face. Then there is this superstitious belief that I cannot expect what I myself cannot give.
This brings me to my next question.
Is faithfulness voluntarily given, or a contractual requirement in a relationship? What is it that prevents us from tasting the forbidden fruit ? Fear? Love ? Lack of opportunity? Laws?
From experience I have always taken words and moral statements with a pinch of salt, mainly because I have seen that what we theorize and what we actually do when confronted with the situation can be very educating.
Only to us.