There is something glorious about being an Indian. I love it. It’s like being inside the house on a rainy day and watching the world outside getting wet, flooded or swept away and you know that as long as we have our masala chai and those hot pakodas, everything is all right.
I love it.
I love the fact that I have the handed down wisdom of a thousand years, which says that everything happens for a reason and every thing is karmically balanced. Thats why I don’t do charity. Blind guy with a missing leg born into utter poverty, begging on the street? He probably deserved it due to his past birth sins. Lucky me. I must have been cleaning karma's balls with my tongue to have been dealt the hand I was given.
I love the way I cannot see beyond myself. Me Indian. You who?
I love the fact that I can go anywhere and don’t have to change a single thing about me. I will eat my rice, dal and pappadoms even when I visit Antarctica. I might, with trepidation, indulge in some local cuisine, only to validate an established fact that nothing can beat my Indian food.
I am a proud Indian.
There's nothing beyond me. I will learn about you, will have opinions about you - I might even say I care about you but you will never catch me standing up for you.
Kill an Indian and you bet your arse I will be there, shouting on the street, in front of your embassy. I am like that. I care for my kind. I see nothing beyond my kind.
My ancient culture, my ancient language, my ancient history, my ancient religions. Hell, the only thing new here is me.
Tibetans immolating themselves for their freedom? Why should I care? I have done my part in giving refuge to the Dalai Lama. I will now get back to sending pink chaddis to my politicians.
Syrian civilians getting butchered by their dictatorial government regime? Great conversation subject. Allow me to give you my intellectually stimulating take on it over tea. After which I will resume to write an article about it, thereby declaring my position and then have my drink with some tandoori chicken and dream of naked desi girls.
Sri Lanka anyone?
I always wonder why no one likes me. I cannot understand how anyone can help not liking me. I am Indian. Our women are the most beautiful.
And I do have the Himalayas and my holy men.
You got to like me.
I love it that I never take a stand for anyone other than my kind. There's a term for it.
Lack of balls.
Take a stand.
In a country where we I am ruled by the government who are actually supposed to represent me, I am what I am decided to be. I don’t exist.
No one is fighting my battles.
I want to take a stand.
I want my country to tell China to take their noodles and get the f**k out of Tibet.
I want my country to stand up and announce in the UN that we support the Syrian civilians in their longest peaceful protest against a regime that is cutting them down. I want me to be outraged. I want me to scream.
I want me to take a stand. I want the country to be about us. The people. I want to be represented not ruled. I don’t want some moron with arcane ideas and a mobile phone streaming porn to tell me what I stand for.
What we stand for. I want to be proud.
I want to help my neighbours in rebuilding their houses. I want me to stop viewing their misfortunes as my opportunities. I want to stop smirking when they fall.
I want to be able to tell my old friends that just because we are friends doesn't mean that I will have to agree with you when you are being an arsehole.
I want to stop being a coward. Worried about pissing off some bullies because that will mean I get to eat my lunch in peace, while the rest of the school gets theirs knocked to the ground.
I want to stand up and say stop. Then, if required, I want to kick them in their balls.
And you know what? If anyone can, I can.
Because I am an Indian.
And I want my balls back.
Photo credit: freebird.in