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Change India: In 8 Easy Steps

Change India: In 8 Easy Steps

July 21, 2011

Proud To Be Indian? Then follow our easy step by step guide to really making a difference.



Mahatma Gandhi had once said, “blog about the change you want to see in India”, or something like that. Whatever…..the real meaning of that sentence was that he had wanted to see every Indian publish a blog, or at least a blogpost, titled “Change India”. If I remember correctly, Akshay Kumar played the role of Mahatma Gandhi in the movie Namaste London and voiced that “proud to be an Indian” speech originally written by Mahatma Gandhi, to silence the two annoying goras in that movie who dared say something against his bad acting. Even Shah Rukh Khan once said, “My Name is Khan” to silence some people at some airport. I think that was also a call to the Indian blogging community.

Our politicians, most notably Lalu Yadav and Mayawati, have set examples for us in dedication and sacrifice. Both Lalu and Mayawati have sacrificed their values, and even many human lives, in their determination to change India. Lalu had, at one time, even sacrificed his own food for the poor people of India and shared fodder with the cows. This selfless deed has been immortalized as The Great Fodder Scam of India. Such has been the dedication of Mayawati for changing India that some ‘upper caste’ people had made fun of her by offering her a garland made out of paper, and the poor lady didn’t even notice that the garland was without any flowers! Such devoted politicians not only tried to change India, they urged us to dream about India Shining. And, India, indeed, is shining. You can see it from an airplane – other than the few-and-far-between green patches, the drought-hit land really shines.

The chain mail, titled “Proud to be Indian”, that every non-patriotic Indian hated to receive, eventually had this line added at the bottom: “992. Last, but certainly not the least: This email has become the most circulated chain-mail in the world beating the Chinese chain-mail titled “Kung Pao Tum Kao”. The third place is held by an Indian-origin chain-mail that has the photo of the cracked-heel feet of Bhagwan Shri San Sananan Sai Sai Baba. We should congratulate each other for this outstanding performance.”

Yes, a lot of work has already been done. Yes, a lot of blogs have already been written. And, yes, a lot of mails have already been forwarded. But a lot of blogs are yet to be written and a lot of mails are yet to be forwarded to really change India. Now let’s discuss these here. (I am not sure about how much work is yet to be done, though).

ONE. Demand a change in the National Anthem:

We should start from the very base. Our national anthem does not represent our nation. It is written in Sanskritized Bengali and by a Bengali poet – neither the language nor the poet is Indian. Moreover, the present national anthem, even though originally written in praise of ‘god’, was used by Indian National Congress to praise King George V. Our national leaders during the 1940s and 50s were all devout King George V followers and hence had chosen it as our national anthem. Time has come for a change now. We should rather have “Jai Ho”.

TWO. Patronize games and sports:

We should patronize games and sports for a healthier India. We should encourage kids to watch more cricket matches on television. Patriotic young Indians religiously watch some national sporting tournaments like those of National Basketball Association and National Football League.

THREE. Show that you are proud to be an Indian:

This is conveniently done by forwarding chain mails and joining a I-am-proud-to-be-an-Indian group on Facebook. While we may have some special feelings for the people from different states in India, we should continue tweeting about national integrity.

FOUR. Blame the real culprit:

It’s very important that we blame someone for the corruption, or riots, or……whatever. The point is, we should blame someone. It should be either very general, or very vague – like “media are to be blamed”, or “the system is to be blamed” etc. Now enjoy the feeling of relief – you have done your part to change India.

FIVE. Call for ONE national language:

If your mother (or father) tongue is Hindi, show your patriotism by ridiculing every other Indian language and ‘inviting’ everyone to accept Hindi as THE national language. If you parental tongue is not Hindi, sign petitions for VC++ to be made the national language.

SIX. Celebrate Gandhi Jayanti: 

Remember his teachings. I guess he had stressed on diet control. So, try to have one no-pizza-day every week.

SEVEN. Support our national heroes:

Support them by watching every movie they are in. Remember that while Salman Khan, Shah Rukh Khan etc are national heroes, Rajinikanth is more of a regional hero.

EIGHT. Buy Indian goods:

Buy Indian goods. But first wait for them to go to USA/UK and get a brand name. Once the same Bapuji-brand t-shirt gets a Nautica logo, it feels like you are not wearing a t-shirt, you are wearing Bipasha Basu / John Abraham (depending on your sexual preference).

The movement has really picked up. With all the calls for change through chain-mails, movies, blogs, political speeches…….India (whatever that thing is) may someday really decide to change! Till then, let’s all enjoy the circus.. 

12 Comments

  • Atheist Indian
    By
    Atheist Indian
    09.04.12 04:07 PM
    Change India. Stop fowarding chain mails and do your own bit conserving electricity, time and bandwidth.
  • Raja
    By
    Raja
    24.07.11 05:04 AM
    Thanks Anirban
  • Anirban
    By
    Anirban
    24.07.11 01:03 AM
    Sarcasm works best when its barely identifiable as such. Brilliant article...
  • Raja
    By
    Raja
    23.07.11 06:45 AM
    @Jimmy: Thank you.

    @Miss Capri: One can believe in himself - that will be a good start :-)
  • Miss Capri
    By
    Miss Capri
    23.07.11 02:30 AM
    As a tireless chain-breaker, make that smasher, I agree with you. Unfortunately the same chain-addiction is going on in North America as well and it's frustrating. People need to decide whether they believe in God, or in chain letters, because IMO, you can't do both.
  • Jimnophobia
    By
    Jimnophobia
    23.07.11 12:34 AM
    @Raja: Now you've got through to me.. great article, bro.. Your sarcasm is too good that that I failed to recognize it.. consider that as a compliment.. :)
  • Raja
    By
    Raja
    23.07.11 12:24 AM
    @Jimnophobia: Seems like I couldn't get across to you.

    I AM serious, but in exactly the opposite way you think I am. I dislike the chain-mail-fed people who do not go deep about any issue and deem signing a petition or joining a 'cause' on Facebook is all they can do to 'change' India!

    "Jana Gana" was originally written in praise of God (whatever that may be), and NOT in praise of George V. I have read letters written by Tagore where he mentione he was not very pleased when his song was used by Congress to welcome George V. But, good luck trying to convince the chain-mail-fed people!

    I mentioned NFL and NBA because those seem to be more popular among urban Indian youth than, say, India-England cricket matches.

    On "regional heroes", ......... I had asked a few teen-agers in Delhi to name a few national heroes. Clearly, I had expected Gandhi, Netaji etc. But I was surprised to hear "Salman, Hrithik, ....." That's what we understand by "national hero"!!!

    "What was Gandhi's role in Indian's fight for freedom?" "He went on hunger strike a few times" was the reply by a kid in Delhi. I'm sure Gandhi will be hailed as the father of diet control in a few years!

    Hope I could make it clear :-)
  • Jimnophobia
    By
    Jimnophobia
    22.07.11 11:51 PM
    @Raja: I'm not sure if this article is meant to be a joke or if you are being serious.

    Assuming you are serious, I can understand the request for change in national anthem.. but "Jai Ho"? seriously? why not Vande Mataram?

    I disagree with a lot of your prescriptions-- Watching TV and sports, while it does help increase nationalism to some extent; it must not be at the expense of actually getting things done i.e, working. Children must stay away from commercialized sports like IPL which does nothing to bring national integration.

    By calling for one language and by deflating "regional" superstars, you are going against the very crux of our democracy-- our diversity. This diversity is what makes India so unique and special home for all of us... By destroying it, you will not get "Indians", you will get only either a "Bengali" or "Punjabi" or "Gujarati"...
  • Raja
    By
    Raja
    22.07.11 10:57 PM
    Thanks for your comments Miss Capri, Krishna Rao and PJ
  • Poor In Java
    By
    Poor In Java
    21.07.11 11:13 PM
    Very crispy Raja but entices the taste buds at the same time. Very well written.
  • Krishna rao
    By
    Krishna rao
    21.07.11 03:54 PM
    I do not think we can say any better than what is described so well here... MANY THANKS RAJA FOR THIS
  • Miss Capri
    By
    Miss Capri
    21.07.11 09:59 AM
    Hahahaha, well said.

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