I know we are a great nation.
I mean, we have not invaded any country for the last 100,000 years. Of course this might have been primarily due to the fact that it took a lot of invasion in the first place to create India. Before that we were busy fighting each other. So it’s more or less a chicken and egg thing.
It is the birthplace of chess, algebra, trigonometry, calculus, snake and ladder, bride burning, honor killing, Shakeela chechi, Jainism and Buddhism
Not bad for a country that has one hell of a history.
Come on. Who doesn’t like to be an Indian?
I mean really.
We like it so much that we actually want everyone else out there to be like us. Which they are not. We let them know that, don’t we?
Come on, admit it, aren’t we a tad bit racist?
Consider this : How do you talk about that Afro American friend of your daughter Leela to your kitty party friends?
"Have I mentioned Leela's friend Will.I.Am?"
Or will it go something like,
"Did I mention that Leela has a negro friend?"
"Do you know that Divya’s son Prem is going around with a ghora?"
That’s what I love about being an Indian. We are placed correctly to be racist and get away with it. We are brown and were colonized. That’s like having your cake and eating it too.
This gives us the privilege of stripping the madhama (white women in mallu lingo) with our eyes while she tries to become lobster red at Kovalam beach or gawk like a moron at the white couple holding hands at the railway station. Don’t forget we also get to pass remarks on their hygiene, sexual habits, physical assets or lack of it in their presence to our friends, without risking losing a limb. That’s kind of nice.
Indian racism towards white skin is a weird thing. It’s like we can’t make up our mind what to do.
Do we hate them or do we suck up to them?
As an Indian, I may not have to worry about having people coming and touching me to see if I am real but I can be assured of being treated like a second class citizen if I go to any establishment with a white colleague. Then you will experience racism in reverse.
Only in India. Love it.
You want to feel better about your self in India? Have black friends.
I don’t mean the darker skinned, moisturized with the fairness cream, dreaming of fairer days, Indians. I am talking of blacks.
No prizes for guessing who is going to be on the far end of the service spectrum if you walk into an establishment with your black and white friends.
What I love about India is the racism toward ourselves. We have our chinkies, madrassies, malabaries, sardarjis, cut surds ( what the hell is that?), nazrani...oh what the hell, you fill the rest in....
Lets face it, if the other is not mine, then the other should know mine is better. My food is better. My culture is better than yours. My language is more poetic. My women are prettier. In short we are better.
You, however, are a joke. I can't hit you because the chances are you will beat me to a pulp, so I will just make you look ridiculous. I will laugh at your tastes, your looks, your funny accents, the way your mother dresses. Because my confidence in what is mine is so big, I will wage a coward's war on you, as it will make me feel better. After all, I am so much better than you.
It is endearing how we are so eager to be sensitive to slights from another race especially if the color of their skin is white but how we behave to them in our own country is, of course, irrelevant. After all, we have been racially discriminated for so long that us being racial is acceptable, isn’t it? It’s our birth right.
We have centuries of practice in the art of racism. We have divided, jeered, segregated, and killed, in the name of caste, religion, class, gender, color, language, sexual preference and place of birth. We have been doing this forever. Racism is in our blood.
I bet my red blood corpuscles are constantly teasing my white blood corpuscles, with their little red cellular face smeared in Fair and Lovely whitening cream.
I am all for brotherhood of mankind and other such fantasies. But its just plain weird when we get offended by something we ourselves are guilty of. I am sure theres a word for this.