My recent purchase of two saris got my restless mind squirming. I began to wonder what people of Indian descent would really think of a white Westerner that would dare to wear a sari. Since I don’t have a huge circle of Desi friends to ask, I was forced to resort to Googling “white woman sari” and various similar combinations of keywords so that I could get an idea of what people actually think of such a thing.
Naturally, it is naïve to expect one clear answer on the subject. The opinions were fairly equally divided between the “of course you can wear one!” and “don’t be ridiculous!” camps, which didn’t really help answer my question.
I decided to wear the cotton brocade out to the shoe store as my black Birkenstocks ruined the look and I needed something nicer, and to the grocery store. Just to see what would happen. Sadly, no Indian folk were to be seen during my excursion and I had to settle for the delighted smiles and compliments of fellow whites.
It was actually kind of nerve-wracking, having all eyes on me like that. I had no choice but to hold my head high, square my shoulders, and walk proudly like I hadn’t a care in the world. One thing I know about wearing a sari: you can’t pull it off if you’re walking hunched over like you want to be invisible. So I didn’t bother trying.
I did learn two valuable things though: for one, saris are really comfortable on a hot sunny day, and two, that I can drive while wearing one.
After I got home, I did a little more Googling. A common complaint of the “white women shouldn’t wear saris” camp was that a Westerner that tries to wear Indian (or any other ethnic clothing) is being rude by appropriating culture that doesn’t belong to them, as if clothing can be insulted or demeaned by some sort of fashion-specific manifest destiny.
This didn’t sit well with me. I live in a city where whites are not a majority. We have an equal number of blacks, as well as large populations of Hispanic and various Asian nations. My city is one of the more violent ones in the US, having a murder rate in the triple digits nearly every year. I have experienced a great deal of what the popular media likes to refer to as “reverse racism.” As if any racism is OK; as if it’s excusable because whites in the recent past used to commit racism, so let’s just go for an eye for an eye and not evolve and do better than our forefathers did.
I’ve never oppressed anyone. I have never called anyone a racial slur – though when I have confrontations in my city (as is inevitable from time to time) I’m almost always called some derogatory name such as cracker or worse. My mother’s side of the family has always been “trailer trash.” We’ve never had the money to own real homes, let alone slaves. I don’t condone racism, I don’t condone racial slurs, I believe in equal opportunities for everyone based on merit and not ethnicity. 60,000 years ago we all had a common ancestor, so in my own scientifically-minded opinion, we’re all the same. The devil, as usual, is in the details – in this case, the details of skin color, ancestral origin, culture.
So when I read that a Westerner in a sari is committing the sin of cultural appropriation, I got more than a little offended, if I’m being honest. Isn’t the intent more important than outside opinion? Sure, I know it’s not realistic to expect people to be reasonable about some things. But how is my admiration and love of the sari an insult to anyone? How is something so positive turned by some people into a negative?
All that aside, this sort of statement seems rather hypocritical. As people all over the world turn aside from their traditional wear in favor of the Western uniform of jeans and t-shirts, shouldn’t it be an occasion of joy to see that their cultural heritage is treasured by people on the outside of the culture? How exactly is it that a non-Westerner can go between the different styles of dress, but a Westerner cannot? Is this not a double standard, and is this truly acceptable?
As a Westerner of my generation, and from a liberal state to boot, I have a generous portion of Western Guilt ingrained in me. We’re taught to be guilty about what we have, and what we are. The imperialistic activities of our ancestors, as well as the rampant greed and corruption of the corporations and the corporate-directed government are a heavy burden on those of us who know better and who regret what has been done in the past, and even in the present, by people that we do not appreciate or admire.
I spent three weeks in Thailand a decade or so ago. Even though haggling was expected and to not haggle was considered rather rude, I felt terribly guilty trying to argue down what I felt was already a ridiculously low price. This need of mine to find that Indians will accept my wearing of the sari is another manifestation of this Western Guilt.
I’m not appropriating the culture, I’m celebrating it! And yet because of the color of my skin, some people consider me to be continuing the abhorrent practices of imperialism simply by choosing to dress in something beautiful from another land.
The power structure of the world is shifting. By my grandchildren’s time, I fully expect India and China to be the world’s leaders in most of the places America leads now. My embracing of the sari, rather than being seen as a confiscation of something that does not belong to me, should perhaps be seen as my acceptance of future world leadership.
I would like to feel proud to wear a sari, but there will always be that little voice that has been instilled in my heart, that because I’m a white woman from America, I don’t have the right to enjoy the clothing and culture from other lands as if they were my own. And I find this to be a sad state of affairs.
Yes, Europeans and Americans have done a lot of damage in the world, and still do. But not all of us support what goes on. Some of us are disgusted by past and present imperialistic acts. Holding all of us responsible for the actions of people long dead, or unsupported by us in the present, is unfair. And bearing resentment against us because of where we were born, or the color of our skin and hair, is just continuing the age-old evil of xenophobia and acts of murder and destruction in its service.
The world gets smaller every day. We all have to live in it. We should all be allowed to celebrate whichever parts of it that we love, no matter if it is something native to our lands or not.
Even if something is not native to one’s homeland, it can become native to one’s heart.




Gori Girl lives in the San Francisco Bay Area, where she has access to a great deal of Indian culture. She has developed a huge crush on India in general, and Punjab in particular. Having developed a taste for bhangra and Bollywood, she tries to make sense of cultural differences with a bohemian eye and an ironic and irreverent sense of humor.

Peta Jinnath Andersen is a freelance and fiction writer. Born in Sydney, Australia, to a Fiji-Indian father and Scottish mother, she’s a bit confused about her background, but loves it all the same. Currently living in the US, she has just had her first child, and is busy studying hard in an effort to learn more about her Indian heritage – including taking Hindi lessons – so she can teach her son about just what it is that makes an NRI special.


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on January 10, 2012
at 9:24 pm
well forget about whoever said what they said about us westerners. I dont know the entire culture, but i do respect it just as much as the rest of them. I have decided, now that the new year came in, that I will step outside my shell and wear the sarees, lehengas and salwars that ive been stuffing in my closet because society doesn’t accept it. OH WELL! it’s 2012, get out there and do your thing. tell me i haven’t worn one yet but isn’t it so comfortable to just be free in a dress, and still have impecible style. viola!
on January 10, 2012
at 11:03 pm
Wow, such courage…
on January 22, 2012
at 3:22 pm
Hi, my name is Catherine and I’m addicted to buying sarees! I love this post! I too have been Googling things like “american women in saree/sari” and “ok for non-Indian to wear saree” etc. also with mixed results. I believe I have about 5 or 6 sarees and I just bought two more this morning. Have I worn them out and about? Well I live in a medium-sized New England town without much diversity. I live near the border of another state that has a bit more cultural diversity than mine and there are two Indian people at my workplace. I wore a pink and blue saree for the Halloween party at my workplace and all day I worried that I had insulted my Indian coworker. Later he complimented me up and down for doing a super job with my “Bollywood Princess” costume. I told him I loved sarees and that I had a bunch and he seemed both pleased and somewhat dumfounded as well. (Like, what would a western chick want with a bunch of sarees when my Indian-born wife doesn’t wear them?)
Anyhow, I came moments away from wearing one of my more “casual” sarees to work one day this past summer. Then I chickened out. I couldn’t see myself sashaying around the workplace in a saree, no matter how casual. (Most sarees look hopelessly formal to me no matter how “casual” they are supposed to be.) I just didn’t want my coworkers to think I was “weird” or crazy. And I didn’t want to get weird looks from that Indian guy either. Halloween is one thing where you can “get away with it.” But as much as I love them, sarees for everyday wear scares me! I want to wear them, really but…ya know?
I did wear a beautiful purple and orange saree on a formal night on a cruise I took. The people at my dinner table kind of didn’t say anything at first. Then one woman turned to me and said she liked my “dress”. I told her it was a saree and that was kind of the end of the conversation. Sigh. It was a “casual” saree as well because anything more fancy and I would have stuck out like some kind of sore thumb (sorer thumb that is).
So why do I keep spending my hard-earned cash on stuff I feel I can’t wear except in the privacy of my own house or for a very special occasion? I do love the fabrics. I love the designs (most of them, though some of them give me kind of a headache). I love how you can take 6 yards of fabric, drape it just so, and suddenly you have a flattering dress! Whee! I do think the saree is very flattering to many body types as well. It hides unmentionable jiggly parts and emphasizes womanly grace and poise. It can be draped, tied, or wrapped in a myriad of ways so that you never have to wear it the same exact way twice. Sarees come in colors and prints that just aren’t found in western ready-made clothing these days. You can have your blouse and petticoat tailored to fit you just right.
The drawback to living in a region with a fairly long and cold winter is that I really can only wear a saree for about half the year. Once the cold weather blows in and settles, no more saree until springtime.
I just wish more western women would add a saree or two to their wardrobes. They’re fun to wear (though challenging) and so very beautiful. I know some movie stars have worn them for functions but not enough to spark a trend.
I guess I’m rambling here but someone really needs to bring some western women together for a saree club or something. I’m tired of hiding my beautiful sarees in the closet!
on January 22, 2012
at 4:59 pm
@Catherine Hi,
I think you should wear Sarees if you like them. The simple reason why most Indian women don’t wear Sarees in western countries is because of the old weather and secondly because it is not the normal thing to be seen in Sarees in those countries.
Generally Sarees are not washed in machines depending on the type of Saree where colors may run. Washing and drying them may be a problem in cold countries and dry cleaning may be expensive.
Why should there be anything wrong in an American woman wearing a Saree?
If you wear dark colored Sarees with your fair skin you should be looking cute.
Over a period of time people would get used to seeing you in a Saree. My Indian born wife living in Germany for 35 years has only worn Sarees in all the years. Even though my sons have wanted her to wear jeans or trousers many times for her own convenience she never wanted to wear anything other than Sarees.
She wears a thick long Flannel over coat over her Saree when she goes out to keep her warm in winter. All our German friends admire the Saree as a dress.
on January 22, 2012
at 6:01 pm
I suggest that instead of wearing sarees everyday you wear salwar kameez, especially in a cold climate, and save the sarees for special occasions or in the summer. I live in NYC and wear SKs to work daily(I work at a college with a casual dress code). In cold weather I wear a cardigan over and a down coat over everything and long johns under the salwar. I always wear dark colors in the winter which coordinate better with winter coats and shoes. I save the light, bright colors for the summer after I have gotten a little tan. They don’t look bad with covered winter shoes(I usually wear clogs with them) but maybe not boots. I wouldn’t wear churidar in the winter because I don’t think they look good with heavier shoes and don’t think long johns would fit under. I do see Indian women with down coats over a saree but it doesn’t look as good imho. I think salwar are more adaptable to western life, easier to clean(I always wash mine in cold water by hand with gentle soap and hang dry) and it’s not so much a stretch from a western pant suit. I am a little shy to say how many SKs I own(it’s in the hundreds );) but I have been wearing them for 10 years now and rarely get a second look – sometimes desi ladies ask where I got my salwars.
on January 22, 2012
at 9:38 pm
Wow! I’ve had many of the same thoughts. I’m black and I love wearing Indian clothing..but I’ve also loved Chinese silk tunics & dresses, African clothing incl. headwraps, Gothic/Victorian dresses. I go through phases like that. If I like it I want to wear too. But I imagine some might question why. Am I being friend or foe? I mean I’ve seen white women wearing braids which is a very common hairstyle among black women. I’ve even wondered myself if they found the style beautiful on black women, and decided to wear it also? Or are they wearing that style because they love black people? (I often doubt it). Esp. since its been my experience that the women or little girls I’ve seen have not exactly embraced the black culture, just the hairdo. It’s just not always the case of it being because of a love or kinship with that culture that a person is wearing their style of dress. I mean how many of us have probably worn a Hawaiian shirt w/o any regard or knowledge of Hawaiian culture?
Also, it’s almost like being black or asian and choosing to go blond. Sure you may get stared at like you’re strange…and people will likely guess you weren’t born with your hair that texture or that color…but it’s the style you chose. As long as you feel good about you, and you’re kind and respectful to those you claim to admire…I say wear it proudly!
But you also have to realize that not everyone is gonna like the choices you make…and further, no culture wants to see itself viewed as a negative or mocked by eccentric behavior by another culture. That could be perceived as rude and kinda odd.
…and just as you realized, judging from the title of this article…Cultural differences can be very delicate issues to address. In this country, you have the right to dress the way you want. However, sometimes we have to know when it’s appropriate and when it’s not. Will the way I dress bring me attention in the wrong way? If so, then maybe I should reconsider my style. The clothes I wear are not that important if I’m uncomfortable in them, or they put out a message I don’t want to convey. There are greater issues in my life that I’m concerned about, besides what I’m wearing.
Lastly..When I was a young rebel I used to wear a t-shirt that had some pretty vulgar language printed on it. Some folks found it funny, others offensive. In my mind, the offended ones had the problem. I was certainly free to wear whatever I wanted! Well, needless to say, I grew up and these days I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing a t-shirt like that, b/c I wouldn’t want to offend anyone.
To my amazement, when I wear my indian clothing, the people of India that I cross paths with are friendly and seem to be honored that I enjoy wearing the clothing they wear. I’ve been treated with much kindness. I believe that’s because I truly love the people of India. Among non-indian people, I’m thought to be a bit weird. I say that’s alright as long as the Indian people I meet don’t have a problem with it.
I think you look beautiful. If you had not told me you were a white women and I saw that picture of you, I’d just say “awww, she’s pretty”. There’s nothing wrong with fully embracing another culture. You have every right to fall in love with the food, clothing, music, religion, people, customs, etc. of any nation you want.
It’s a nice feeling to find people out there who secretly admire a woman willing to think outside the box. That’s all it takes to make a difference in this world.
on January 22, 2012
at 10:59 pm
@Catherine Hi,
To get taste of how you would look in a Saree or Salwar Kameez Google search for the following. You will see hundreds of pictures to go by.
Indian Saree designs 2011
Salwar Kameez designs 2011 for women
on January 28, 2012
at 2:58 pm
Hello
Read your post and it is an old one but I do not think any Indian would be offended by a foreigner, white or otherwise wearing clothing that is Indian.
I think it takes a lot of courage to wear Indian clothes (or just any other culturual symbolism) and walk around.
More power to you and if there is a ‘white women shouldn’t wear saris’ camp i am actually surprised. Seen a lot of white women in Sari, and it looks awesome
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