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Cynic’s Preview: Kya Super Kool Hain Hum

Cynic’s Preview: Kya Super Kool Hain Hum

July 25, 2012

Just grind and bare it!



Click HERE for our review. Unlike other modern day scions of politicians who have also chosen to join politics and dedicate their lives in the service of the nation, Ritesh Deshmukh decided to take the selfish road to Bollywood instead. He must have realized early the futility of even trying to match the lofty achievements of his superdad Vilasrao Deshmukh. (Senior D, as everyone knows, has risen to become the current Science and Technology Minister, a feat that even APJ Abdul Kalam could not attain). Obviously oblivious to our keen eye, there must have been some talent in Ritesh that got him parts in the biggest 3-, 4- and 5-hero film projects, and helped him make a place for himself in the industry (while also landing him a gorgeous film star bride albeit of suspect talent herself).

On the other hand, why Tusshar Kapoor decided to tread the path to Bollywood, in spite of the face, talent and really everything else, remains a mystery. I fear Ekta Kapoor will have a lot of explaining to do when she meets her Maker.

Bollywood discovered a while ago what Discovery Channel and Animal Planet have only just realized – that there is incredible wealth to be made in peddling catastrophes in the form of entertainment to an audience already habituated to abysmal standards (Reality TV, TV serials, anyone?). Catastrophes can be incredible disasters! or Shark Attack! or Man vs. Wild! (i.e. that lone wolf-man surviving in deep jungles with just a pocket knife and the ability to eat raw earthworms and raccoons). And catastrophes can just as well be defined as Singh is King, Housefull, Rowdy Rathore and Golmaal. After all, it is hard to take your eyes off of a no-holds-barred public demolition – of decent humour and entertainment in this case!

Presenting, Tusshar and Ritesh’s second child of sin (labour of love?) – Kyaa Super Kool Hain Hum. I am not sure what the fate of their first born – Kyaa Kool Hain Hum – was, but, obviously, someone was perverse enough to bring another Damien, the Omen Child, into this world.

The trailer was only two minutes long but the film’s message was crystal clear – We are so incredibly gross that it makes us –

Very ‘Kool’ – Look at our spelling – we used a “K” instead of a “C”! Plus, everyone is dressed trendy, down to our miniscule swimming costumes!

Very Funny – Look, we have penis, butt and boobs jokes! And they are not even double entendre! And that really is Vicky’s Donation in that jar, not shrikhand!

Very Irreverent – Look, we made fun of everybody! Including Baba Ramdev!

Very Liberal – Look, even the girls are cracking non-veg jokes! She really is talking about preferring a vibrator over the real thing!

Very Adult – Look, read the above! And we are very proud of our “A” certificate, thank you very much!

The storyline seems highly contemporary – two perhaps not-so-cool bachelors trying to score two hot girls, obviously out of their league, by playing every masquerade and sexual gag in the book. All the while also trying to save themselves from some larger doom that is imminent. Clearly, this is the type of entertainment the modern Indian youth craves for because most such movies follow this exact plot-line like the Rajdhani Express time-table.

The girls are called Neha Sharma and Sarah Jane Dias. Don’t strain too hard to remember their names, they are probably no Vidya Balans, and this dirty picture is unlikely to be their Dirty Picture.

The trailer also carried a couple of song snippets – both looked like item numbers. The music is by a pair called Sachin-Jagir. I feel if you don’t have a partner, you can’t break into Bollywood as a music director these days. (Too bad, Leander Paes, you might as well toss those plans of an alternative career making music in Bollywood – you will need someone to agree to partner with you first!)

The 4-5 gags shown in the trailer were mildly amusing, I must admit. But I suspect they were also the best jokes in the film.

Talking of gags, what is it about Ritesh Deshmukh that compels, let’s humour them and call them screenplay writers, to write gay scenes around him? A common plot-line in many of Ritesh’s films is that effeminate men in pink clothes and yellow shoes are attracted to him like John Travolta is to full-body massage. I wonder if it is that facial expression of his as if he just passed gas – perhaps it is homoerotic in some way? Or maybe it’s his physique, which is identical to Salman Khan’s when he was 14? Anyhow, I can confidently declare that the happy custom endures – in fact, the trailer practically gives a blow-by-blow account of what the gay plot-line might be.

Oh, and water-baby Tusshar shows his butt – one could call him a poor (as in, abjectly poor, practically destitute) woman’s John Abraham.

In the end, I shall give this film passing grade. After all, it bears no pretenses. If you think Christopher Nolan is that person who discovered America, Cocktail means a sissy drink, just the mere mention of Housefull-2 brings tears of craving to your eyes, and a joke without some kind of mention of genitalia is merely an anecdote, you had better be in that theatre on Friday.

I will see you there! 

8 Comments

  • Rajpriya
    By
    Rajpriya
    27.07.12 10:25 AM
    @Rickie,

    I wonder why some guy always reaches for my fly? When he reaches a high note he LOL's so much as if it is oozing down his throat.
  • HARRY
    By
    HARRY
    26.07.12 11:23 PM
    @ Rickie

    You couldn't resist the joke with John Travolta and full body Massage could you. :)

    So the man likes bit of meat sandwich and what's wrong with that. I shouldn't have said that, it sound gay! pun intended.

    You are harsh dude! I feel sorry for his Mrs. :) Happy viewing dude.

    HARRY
  • Rajpriya
    By
    Rajpriya
    26.07.12 02:38 PM
    Of course I will. At the moment my son is holidaying with her and the kids in the Swiss. I have to wait till she comes back and gets hold of the DVD.

    I am doing Prima wie Immer. Well! I can't wish for more in Germany right now because with the temperatures rising above 25 degrees in the last three days and as a result my German friends are saying I have started to look like an Indian?

    The Germans call it the Spät Sommer. Thanks Rickie.
  • Rickie Khosla
    By
    Rickie Khosla
    26.07.12 01:20 PM
    Thank you for reading!
    Rajpriya, you and I will have to compare notes on the film after we both have seen it!
    Hope you are doing well.
  • Rajpriya
    By
    Rajpriya
    25.07.12 10:48 PM
    Anyway about the Paes saga I think Sania whispered too much into his ears every time they the walked upto the end of the court and pretended to discuss the next serve.
  • Rajpriya
    By
    Rajpriya
    25.07.12 10:32 PM
    @Ricky

    “Very Funny”? You missed the latest trend. Well! Here is the link
    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-18947106

    “Very Liberal”? See the real reason for the preference.
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2177158/

    “Two perhaps not-so-cool bachelors trying to score two hot girls”?
    Isn’t that eve teasing?

    Was entertaining reading. However my daughter in law being a Bollywood fan will force the DVD on to me.
  • Raghav
    By
    Raghav
    25.07.12 11:43 AM
    Funny stuff! Unfortunately I believe that people do like this kind of stuff and that's why they get made again and again. Still I hate saying this in public but that garden song is sorta catchy. I'll be skipping the film though.
  • Nisar Ahmed
    By
    Nisar Ahmed
    25.07.12 06:29 AM
    Could understand a thing of this person as to what he is suggesting or writes.
    My bad.....

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